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If one were to go by reports like this one on a magistrate ruling that a 21-year old woman be returned to her parents, there is no such thing as the Adult Indian Woman. While 18 may be the legal age for attaining majority, every now and then, one comes across cases like this where courts pass orders giving parents custody of unwilling adult daughters.
The unfortunate thing is that many Indians will support this. Arguments come up like, is a 21-year old really ready to make the right decision for herself and so on. That is besides the point. No doubt, there are plenty of 21 year olds who will land up in relationships and marriages that they will regret later. Just as there are 21 year olds who will make choices that work for them. Parents can advise, help, approve or disapprove – but no one can or should force an adult to get married or move back home against their wishes. In this case I linked to above, it appears that this 21 year old had already been married to someone in Rajasthan, and she doesn’t want to join that husband either.
Which of course begs the question of whether at all she had consented to that marriage, or was forced into it. And force need not be physical – force can be emotional (I will kill myself etc) or the absence of real choices. Not preparing or letting a young woman face the world on her own by withholding education or knowledge is also a kind of force – it forces them to abide by parents’ diktats.
The question is, if our learned judges themselves will not recognise the validity of the adult Indian woman, what hope do we have? In this case, luckily the higher courts came to her rescue, but not every woman whose liberty is infringed upon is lucky enough to get there.
Founder & Chief Editor of Women's Web, Aparna believes in the power of ideas and conversations to create change. She has been writing since she was ten. In another life, she used to be read more...
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He said that he needed sometime to himself. I waited for him as any other woman would have done, and I gave him his space, I didn't want to be the clingy one.
Trigger Warning: This deals with mental trauma and depression, and may be triggering for survivors.
I am someone who believes in honesty and trust, I trust people easily and I think most of the times this habit of mine turns into bane.
This is a story of how a matrimonial website service turned into a nightmare for me, already traumatized by the two relationships I’ve had. It’s a story for every woman who lives her life on the principles of honesty and trust.
And when she enters the bedroom, she sees her husband's towel lying on the bed, his underwear thrown about in their bathroom. She rolls her eyes, sighs and picks it up to put in the laundry bag.
Vasudha, age 28 – is an excellent dancer, writer, podcaster and a mandala artist. She is talented young woman, a go getter and wouldn’t bat an eyelid if she had to try anything new. She would go head on with it. Everyone knew Vasudha as this cheerful and pretty young lady.
Except when marriage changed everything she knew. Since she was always outdoors, whether for office or for travelling for her dance shows, Vasudha didn’t know how to cook well.
Going by her in-laws definition of cooking – she had to know how to cook any dishes they mentioned. Till then Vasudha didn’t know that learning to cook was similar to getting an educational qualification. As soon as she entered the household after her engagement, nobody was interested what she excelled at, everybody wanted to know – what dishes she knew how to cook.