Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
The last maid who worked at our house – her husband abandoned her, while she was pregnant with her first child. Then, when she stopped working at our place, we got a young woman with two children under 5; she was friendly but feisty – she bargained hard and laid down a strict list of tasks that she would do and not do. She worked with us for a month, after which she had to stop. Because, her husband didn’t like her working; it injured his prestige, you see. If you think you are the boss, you work and support the family, I’m not going to contribute anything, he whined. And that was that – she had to stop. In the interests of maintaining some peace at home.
Her replacement, a woman she brought along – is a 40-something widow. Seeing her calm and cheerful face, one would not guess at the tough life she must have led to bring up her two sons.
The stories of these women are not rare in any sense. Abandoned, threatened, intimidated, overworked, left widowed (in many cases, with the husband dying of alcoholism-induced-cirrhosis of the liver) – these are the common stories of the working class women of our country. I’d hate to come across as dismissive of any social class, but what is the reason that women, and women alone seem to carry the burden in so many poor families?
Women of the middle and upper classes still have the luxury of deciding whether or not to work, but for these women, it’s not a choice. Perhaps, given a choice, they’d love to put up their feet and sit, even if just for a day. Instead, they get up at unearthly hours, finish the domestic chores at their own homes (catch the men chipping in with these!) and then set out for a hard day’s work. Mostly, just so that their children can have a better life.
(Which is why, this whole ‘fatwa on Muslim women’s salaries’ controversy is so ridiculous. The women who desperately need the money – it doesn’t make any sense to them; and as for the women who ‘want to work’, well, I don’t see them listening to such outdated pronouncements, do you?)
Also, do go read Space Bar’s article on the middle class and how they could do more to support domestic workers.
Founder & Chief Editor of Women's Web, Aparna believes in the power of ideas and conversations to create change. She has been writing since she was ten. In another life, she used to be read more...
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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