Is There Time For A Friend?

Posted: February 9, 2013

Friends often take a backseat in our lives. This Valentine’s Day, let’s remember those who fill our lives with fun and laughter.

A decade ago, eight girls giggled and clinked their glasses filled with champagne. The drink was not chilled and the glasses were plastic cups. But there has never been a carefree and spirited moment such as that one. No matter how hard I think, I can’t quite recollect what we were toasting. We still had a couple of more months for graduation and we weren’t the type to toast for academics. I think we were just thrilled to have alcohol amidst us and something as sophisticated as champagne called for a celebration.

Six in person, two in thoughts and while we did not make tall claims about till death do us part, we hoped that our friendship would stand the test of time. Far from family, friends filled the void and when your college is in a desert, friends are all you have. We bunked classes, crammed while wondering if we would ever use advanced calculus in real life, sang our hearts out during music nights, assigned codes for crushes and stayed awake just to dig into a plate of maggi.

We weathered the turning-thirty storms and found solace in being wiser. Some of us managed to find our better halves while still envying the vagabond state of our single friends. Some of us embarked on this adventure called motherhood and cheered each other’s sleep deprived state. Some of us are travelling so the rest of us can see the world through their eyes. But all of us are in agreement that friends like these are rare gems. In 10 years, our lives have filled with babies, in laws, spouses, boyfriends, travel and work. It is sometimes exactly how we imagined it to be and sometimes not at all what we thought we would end up like. But in all this we have carved time for each other.

Women friends: A blessing like no other

Gossiping and bitching is immensely therapeutic. We have learnt not to be judgmental and resort to opinions only on request. Sometimes we simply listen to the other talk. Who does that? When we get married there are friends who are civil to wish you well, then there are friends who warn you about nosy in laws and then there are those girl friends who let you know that the drive diminishes after the first couple of years. You know which ones you have to hold close.

As women, we often struggle to prioritize our roles. The mother, wife, daughter and sister always wins over the one that is a friend.

As you turn older the chance to meet new people and form lifelong friendships are rare. It is even tougher to make time for friends who make you laugh on your dark days. Technology has made it easier to bridge the distances without having real conversations. Yet our voices manage to travel the miles and real pictures (not the ones on Facebook) confirm the cropping grey hairs. It is amazing that we still pick up the phone during birthdays and New Year’s wanting to catch up, immaterial of the mail chatter.

As women, we often struggle to prioritize our roles. The mother, wife, daughter and sister always wins over the one that is a friend. But it is with friends that you can lay your soul bare. You can trust that they will pick up your pieces as they wage your wars without rhyme or reason. They will share your fun but true ones will divide your grief. Friends are healing and a reality check. A girls night out will fuel your spirit longer than a movie or a date night. This Valentine’s Day drop the cliché and make sure you wish a friend, the one that tends to your heart and makes life fun.

*Photo credit: paiviti.