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Indian women relocating for work is no longer rare; the story of one working woman and her challenges - and how she got around them.
Indian women relocating for work is no longer rare; the story of one working woman and her challenges – and how she got around them.
Gone are the days when Indian women moved to a new city, simply to follow their husbands. Women relocating for work from one city to another for career reasons are not taboo anymore but it is still considered a daunting task that should be avoided if possible. A general lack of safety for single women coupled with the notion that a woman’s destiny is in marriage, only leads to anxious parents. No wonder then that the confidence of single Indian women gets ruined through such overprotective and conservative family pressures. Nidhi S*, 23 is one such woman.
They kept giving her advice on getting married and then to have a bodyguard for all these adventures. Eventually all the negativity got to her and Nidhi also started feeling angry and depressed. She began to have second thoughts and started worrying about things such as finding an accommodation in the new city, which is well known for its space scarcity and travelling daily in crowded public transportation.
Her relatives tried to convince her that it is not worth going so far ‘just for work’. They kept giving her advice on getting married and then to have a bodyguard for all these adventures.
But she did not give up. Instead she started finding her way forward through some simple but effective steps.
Technology has indeed shrunk the world and staying connected with friends is no longer difficult. Nidhi got in touch with her friends who were living in the new city and updated herself about the lifestyle and vibe of the city. She realized that despite cribbing about the heavy traffic and high living costs, her friends were happy to be living there and that cheered her up considerably. To offset her expenses she decided to find accommodation near her office.
Being assured by her friends Nidhi spoke patiently with her mother and explained her dissatisfaction in her old job and how her new job could bring in new opportunities of learning. She reasoned that she had indeed tried applying for all suitable job positions nearer to home, but they did not work out. After a lot of discussion her parents’ attitude changed and they too started seeing things in a new light; the others did not matter to Nidhi. They reached a compromise wherein Nidhi’s father offered to accompany her initially, so that he would also get a better perspective about the place and the office of Nidhi.
As Nidhi’s office did not provide her with guest accommodation, she booked herself into a well-rated hotel after some research on popular travel websites. The remaining days flew by with Nidhi busying herself; buying train tickets, packing and repacking her stuff and understanding the geography of the new city through google maps. Nidhi was particularly glad that she had saved some money, which she could use while relocating. She also made sure that her friends would be around to help her out in the first few days.
More resources on travel websites: Make My Trip, Yatra
Arriving at her destination, Nidhi soon realized that staying on her own meant that there there was so much to learn and to discover! Having her friends as well as her father around was a big relief. Since the initial days at work were not too tight, she spent time exploring various restaurants and getting a feel of the city, which was to become her home soon. The biggest dilemma (as for most Indian women) was finding a nice place to stay. A deluge of choices as well as details such as advance payments and commissions to slick agents with no strict laws governing them, in addition to her father’s departure, all made her terribly homesick.
More resources on restaurant reviews: Burrp, Times Of India, Zomato, Tripadvisor
After sifting through numerous ads offering a range of accommodation options for working women, Nidhi finally decided to share a room in a reputable PG. Sharing her room with another is not new to Nidhi. But Nidhi has started noticing the differences in sharing during her college days (where her roommates had become her family in 4 years) and now. Now the sharing is more formal and less intense.
Nidhi knows that roommates will always keep changing; but after long hours of work, she is happy to come back and see some other friendly faces equally tired. They bond by relaxing while watching TV and eating their home-delivery or cooking something in a jiffy. Her roommates are new to her but the interactions and fun are not. She is at ease now and continued making friends, enjoying weekend shopping and most of all long distance calls to her family back home.
More resources on accommodation & shopping choices: Sulekha, Magic Bricks, Accomodation in Mumbai, Snap Deal
Photo credit: Highways Agency (Used under a Creative Commons Attributions license)
A science researcher finding ways into broader science careers. A women enthusiast to the core and a keen observer of life... read more...
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Before expecting the daughter in law to love, respect and accept the new family, it is only fair that the family demonstrates all of these first.
If you are a married Indian woman, one of the first words you hear from your in laws is that you are now a daughter of the house. How true is that statement though? Are daughters in law really treated as daughters or is this only lip service?
A friend recently confided how hurt she felt when she wanted to visit her in-laws along with her husband but was told not to, because the in-laws wanted time alone with their son. Naturally, she was taken aback since she had always been fed this trope – that she was the daughter, not the daughter in law. Why then this sudden keeping at arm’s distance? Would a son in law ever be told not to accompany his wife on her visit to her parents because they wanted quality time with their daughter? That is unimaginable in a patriarchal society.
It is ok to want time alone with the married offspring but how does that meld into the Indian family system, where independent choices are less important than the whole family coming together?
Chhorii starring Nushrratt Bharuccha is another horror movie challenging the patriarchal standards that persist in society!
Adding to the list of horror movies that use the genre to challenge patriarchal standards, Chhorii is a scathing look at the so-called moral standards using which women are judged and turned into ‘witches’.
When does a chhorii (girl) become a chudail (witch)? Like the brilliant Bulbul from last year, Chhorii asks this question poignantly, making us search deep within ourselves for the answer. Bulbul becomes a witch in order to protect the women and girls of her village when she dies after suffering patriarchal torture at the hands of her husband and brother-in-law. Why is the witch in Chhorii a witch?
An amazing Nushrratt Bharuccha stars as Sakshi, a pregnant woman who comes to a remote village with her husband to escape loan sharks. But all is not right there, and Sakshi can sense it. The real horror is the patriarchal nature of their hosts, rather than the supernatural beings. Will Sakshi be able to escape with her and her unborn child’s lives? Watch Chhorii (now streaming on Amazon Prime Video) to find out.
Gita Aravamudan's Unbound: Indian Women @ Work explores how careers for women have evolved in India.
Gita Aravamudan’s Unbound: Indian Women @ Work explores how careers for women have evolved in India.
By Anjana Basu
About 20 years ago I was being interviewed for a job in a well known Calcutta advertising agency. At one stage in the questioning, the Creative Director of the agency, a man who should have known better asked me, “How would you tackle working late at night in a department filled with men?” The question did it – deciding the man was narrow minded and insensitive, I turned down the offer and joined another agency which had also approached me. Reading Gita Aravamudan’s Unbound, a study of Indian working women, makes me think that things have not really changed where men’s perceptions are concerned, despite India shining, and powerful women at the helm of politics.
Indian women in science find the going tough even today. How did early women scientists manage their careers?
The lives of early Indian women scientists are fascinating. They loved science and math in school; they went to college, did their PhDs and post-doctoral research. They traveled to several countries for their research and finally settled in India with academic jobs. They also got married, had children and cared for their growing families. Their lives included an interest in the husband’s career and strong hobbies.
It can all sound a bit euphoric for women working in science today. But it is true and these scientific women; Dr. Archana Dasgupta and Dr. Sulekha Hazra have done it all in the1970s; at exactly the same time when women were liberating themselves all over the world and Indian women were coming out of their cocooned lives slowly.