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I want to be first the woman that I am...free, independent and self-reliant and then willingly take up the roles I choose and give them as much as everybody else in the loop does
Well, I don’t agree with having a “Women’s Day” designated to celebrate our existence. We exist and we do undeniably. In fact, the whole man(?)kind exists because we do.
Women have let themselves be eulogized as daughters, sisters, wives and mothers and so have let their own self-worth go to the dogs. Before a woman is any of these she is herself; a beautiful creation of the Almighty who has her own needs, her own preferences, her own desires, her own views and most importantly her own life.
Yes, we exist; like ourselves, for ourselves and then for others. It is an added responsibility, to be someone’s daughter, sister, mother, wife or girlfriend. In some cases, the role is natural and in some cases, we take it on. Ironically every such role has criteria laid out by men and thus it is for their satisfaction and fulfilment of only their needs. They have succeeded in controlling us, overpowering us and bringing us to this point that we have to assert the mere fact that we exist. We have allowed our maternal and lovers instinct to overflow and never realized that we are not asserting ourselves and losing ground.
Even on Women’s Day we are letting men praise us for being great sisters, daughters etc. and then women. I protest. I want to be first the woman that I am…free, independent and self-reliant and then willingly take up the roles I choose and give them as much as everybody else in the loop does. Why am I expected to give more? I don’t want to be the self-effacing, self-depriving ‘ideal woman”. Whose ideals are they anyway? Who are men to postulate these ideals? Who gave them this right? Why do they make the rules for us? The answer is because we have let them.
In return of protection from the sexual atrocities that they ‘think’ they can perpetrate on us. They think that because we have let ourselves be vulnerable and weak. A man can walk in his underwear on national television but a woman in a bikini is not tolerated even on a beach. A penis doesn’t have to be a virgin but a vagina has to be. A man who beds many women is a stud but such a woman is a slut. In both cases two consenting adults mate with each other for sexual satisfaction, neither uses the other so why attach such labels.
I refuse to be called the weaker sex or the other (better or worse) half. I am a complete entity, comprising a microcosm in myself. Some simple self-defence techniques, a sound education, a belief in our own worth as ourselves, pride in our sexuality and demystifying virginity is what we need to assert ourselves.
I too want to celebrate Women’s Day but I want to celebrate the spirit of self-worth first as an individual, not overshadowed by gender. I want to celebrate my love for myself. I stand for me being a human being first, and as equal as any other human being on this earth. I stand for someone who is her own self first. Women don’t need a day dedicated to them, they need to catch every day by its horns and make the most of it.
Every day is our day.
Image via Pixabay
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Women know exactly how vulnerable we are in public, but whenever we speak about it men seem to believe that the solution is to learn the art of self defence. “Teach your daughter karate so she can defend herself when she is sexually harassed”, they say, quite forgetting that that even being among the best wrestlers in the world didn’t save Sakshi Malik and Vinesh Phogat from being sexually abused, or that a number of police officers trained in the use of firearms were among the victims of HD Prajwal Revanna.
While the only long term strategy to reducing sexual harassment is a combination of behaviour change communication directed at men and speedy legal action being taken against the perpetrators, we know that calling out (or distracting) the perpetrator will almost certainly diffuse the immediate act of sexual harassment.
It was to get a dipstick of how men behave when they witness an act of sexual harassment that I create a poll on X (formerly Twitter):
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