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Assertiveness is not a desirable quality or skill that a woman can display on a matrimonial site, right?
Have you ever been forced to not attend an event as a participant on the Constitution because you could potentially be the only woman there? Have you been advised not to sit for a particular movie at a film festival because you would feel uncomfortable watching it with a predominantly male audience? If the answers are ‘yes’ for all of the above or if you have had similar ladki-hai-toh-udhar-jana-is-not-in-your-best-interest moments, then we are sailing in the same boat. The irony here is that these were “progressive” events organised by the so-called “progressive” people. What does this say about the extent of feminism inculcated by the “liberal” sections of our small-town societies? Can I be cynical and say “nil”?
People breathe, talk, and eat feminism these days. But what is the point of it, if you cannot digest the presence of an adult woman in a cinema hall? What is the point of listening to a talk on equality and fraternity in the Constitution if men dominate the audience? The root of all these double-standards is the fear of own “well-being”, they say. I should not be seen attending an event as the only girl as that would indicate that I have an “assertive” side. Assertiveness is not a desirable quality or skill that a woman can display on a matrimonial site, right?
So yes, this denial of entry has to do with my marriage prospects. Also, the nice uncles of the film society think I should not sit in for a foreign film because that would spread the word of my association with the most explicit movies. That would mean I take a lenient attitude to movies that should ideally be denounced by innocent, small-town girls like me. Open attitudes by women are, therefore, social aberrations. I am an aberration.
One incident, however, has a happy ending. I did attend the talk on the Constitution and represented one per cent woman presence at the do. I do know that this nano act of defiance cannot in any sense be called radical. But I think these small, everyday acts count. As they say, little drops of water make the mighty ocean.
Image via Pixabay
I am an aspiring writer/feminist--not strictly in that order. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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