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Why do women have to go through so much trauma just for being women? Who gives men the right to behave in this way?
Trigger warning: This post contains depiction of normalised violence against women, and may be triggering for survivors.
#OneOfTheThingsThatOftenKeepMeUpAllNight
My belly is living proof of the life I have grown, held, and birthed a ‘permanently pregnant’ swell stretch marks and a caesarian scar that still itch an experience I wouldn’t trade in for anything except for what I was told by the father of my child.
From “This is not my child” to “Stop all that drama – there’s no camera here” when I was hormonal and weepy and wanted him to hold me, reassure me, understand me and further on to “you’ve blown up like a buffalo; like your mother” when I was unable to shed all the weight and “get back into shape”.
I never lost the weight and the swollen belly and the stretch marks “You look positively ugly” “I hate women who get fat” “I am embarrassed to be seen with you”.
Nothing new.
Poor guy he’s been embarrassed by so much about this uncouth wife of his talks too loudly laughs too loudly can’t even do anything right looks like a buffalo or an elephant take your pick.
Whattodo I am like that only na on top of that there’s the “too much feminism” the “rot” that I have “brought into this family” of course.
Sometimes I wonder what all my mind has taken who had sold me the narrative that I must be accepting, tolerant, resilient, “good”, understanding…
WHY? why must I? who gives him this right to do with me as he wished so say to me what he wished lord and master, right? taken with fire and family as witness.
Sometimes I wonder who am I?
The go getter who could do it all who had dreams or this broken sorry example of a human being who just gets through each day, one day at a time?
Image source: YouTube/ a still from Gully Boy
Closet feminist. read more...
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