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Recently I was taking a walk in a park and I happen to notice a kid of four or five years with his maid. He was very enthusiastically relating to an incident that happened in his school to the maid. But the maid was not interested. She was not even making an eye contact with the child. I felt sorry for the child for not being able to share his one of his happiest moment and his parents for missing out that wonderful moment which their son wanted to share. I don’t think a well-paid maid, comfortable crèche, costly toys, gadgets or vacations, can replace the million-dollar moment of love and affection shared between a child and his or her parents. The grandparents can to some extent substitute for parents but only if they are in good health.
The physical closeness, sharing of emotions when happy or sad, just listening and interaction is what the child will remember than the toys or gadgets gifted. I think we spend so much of money on education but do not think twice about parenting. The youth when they become parents interact with their kids based on how their parents interacted with them as they grew up. And this interaction may be good for some and not so good for others. Once the couple decide to become parents they should be aware of the ups and downs of parenting. Good books on parenting, movies, advice of elders and parenting sessions should help the couples to certain extent. Benjamin Spock’s book on pregnancy and early childhood was of immense help when my son was an infant. Sometimes we must use our common sense when our child wants the truth and we are too embarrassed to admit it. To escape the embarrassment, if we lie and the child finds out he will only understand that it is okay to lie.
I remember how my parents, though not well educated bought us up with love and discipline. One unwritten rule I remember is when elders are talking, kids should not interrupt. When we are visiting somebody, we were forewarned to behave well. And if we played truant one look from my mother would be enough. And if this was not enough her one sentence, “I will see you after getting home”, was enough. She would usually forget about the threat, but we would not, and we would be at our best behaviour even after returning home. If we had guests at home, we must take care of them, entertain them and share our room. After they have left we would wait for my parents to admonish us for any inappropriate behaviour on our side. If there is no lecture we would be happy that all is well.
Tirukkural was written by Tiruvallur (a Tamil poet/writer) more than 5000 years on parenting mistakes which stands true for the present times too.
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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