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The essence of living is not limited to our self. The Rules to Happiness may not be confined to step wise instructions, it may come randomly.
The essence of living was not limited to basic definition of who we are in the society.
The society has always tried to frame us, created a specific stage where many rules govern us.
Are we born to be confided in those small prisons of countless commandments?
By adhering to those rules we stay safe, we stay within those organized boundaries.
But beyond those thousand prisms there are hopes, dreams, aspirations, passion and identity that are grand, authentic, true and real.
The Rules to Happiness may not be confined to step wise instructions, it may come randomly.
We raise children, we shape them, we contour their future, their identity, their vison, their thoughts but as parents have we ever thought of shattering many myths that we teach them.
What makes us teach them? The lineage follows of not allowing to question, the tradition of believing that whatever has been taught cannot be unlearned.
From God to death, from marriage to virginity, from sexual orientation to body basics, from bearing children to sex, from choosing life skills to breaking stereotypes, have we ever twisted the tweaks? From Religion to race, from caste to creed, from singlehood to parenthood, from life goals to inner conflicts, from strength to weakness.
Can we, will we, do we?
As parents and as society have we ever cross checked about why and how things have evolved.
And if taking into consideration many ideas and belief system that has been followed could have been modified can bestow happiness that we are all seeking for then why can’t we adjust it.
The gender roles that are played in society, we may find it faulty. We talk about body shaming specifically for women, we talk about gender atrocities, but have we thought of finding the same pedestal to keep the two genders at the same stratum from the start, at home, within ourselves. The cracks begin here somewhere near us, we suffer, we complain but do we take a step forward to modify it even if it doesn’t harm anyone but ourselves.
The girl may not feel good to wax her hair on her legs and stubbornly wear shorts as it sensed ease
The sense of ease was same for both men and women
But the warped up rituals of between the two gender comes to the rescue…The man can carry it, aesthetically the women may be usurer.
But why?
Why would a dark skinned girl apply fairness crème, if she feels happy with her skin tone? Will judgements stay off if she keeps it just the way she desired.
Why not happiness is left to stay as independent without diffusing it with the intervention of what our society has parceled for us.
Why being a gay or a lesbian was more of a societal choice and not an individual entity?
Why choosing to remain unmarried is counterattacked by failings of not getting a partner, why not a choice.
Why remaining a single mom is imprinted as a failing character
Why choosing to be happy is the last liberty
Isn’t it our birth right?
Our freedom lies in choosing, our strength lies in not killing our soul, our passion.
Let our daughters, let our kids grow, let our next generation have their say about choice, choice to live, to grow, to own profession, to understand sex, to blossom as individuals irrespective of gender…to live choose what one believes without losing conscience
Let the guardhouse have those little windows to see the beautiful sky.
Image Source: Still from the movie Pagglait
Ronita- Maitra Bhandari is a Creative Writer/Blogger. Her passion for written words have always kindled the spirit in her to write anything and everything that stimulates or stirs her mind. Juggling words and meandering read more...
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Be it a working or a homemaker mother, every parent needs a support system to be able to manage their children, housework, and mental health.
Let me at the outset clarify that when I mention ‘work’ here, it includes ANY work. So, it could be the work at home done by a homemaker parent or it could be work in a professional/entrepreneurial environment.
Either way, every parent struggles to find that fine balance between ‘work’ and ‘parenting’, especially with younger kids who still need high emotional and physical support from their caretakers. And not just any balance, but more importantly, balance that lets them keep their own sanity intact!
I watched a Tamil movie Kadaisi Vivasayi (The Last Farmer), recommended by my dad, on SonlyLiv, and many times over again since my first watch. If not for him, I’d have had no idea what I would have missed. What a piece of relevant and much needed art this movie is!
It is about an old farmer in a village (the only indigenous farmer left), who walks the path of trouble, quite unexpectedly, and tries to come out of it. I have tried my best to refrain from leaving spoilers, for I want the readers to certainly catch up on this masterpiece of director Manikandan (of Kakka Muttai fame).
The movie revolves around the farmer who goes about doing his everyday chores, sweeping his mud-house first thing in the morning, grazing the cows, etc and living a simple but contented life. He is happy doing his thing, until he invites trouble for himself out of the blue, primarily because he is illiterate and ignorant.