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I don't care which party brings this into effect. So many of my classmates have dropped out due to marriage. Why are people objecting to this bill?
I blame myself for getting excited seeing the news that the legal age for marriage for women will be increased to 21. But fear not. The society showed me my place. I had the good fortune of listening to multiple news debates on this issue. Yeah, this is apparently an issue that has people speaking against it.
Anyone following the news would have heard the many wonderful arguments that are coming up. I watched two debates in Malayalam news channels that ended up talking about the same points.
The same person in both the debates believed that if women are not married by 18, they will find other ways to satisfy their sexual desires and the society will lose its values. I loved how they conveniently forgot about the existence of contraception, assuming becoming pregnant at that age was their issue with unmarried women having sex.
We are all waiting to turn 18 and just have sex. Not like we happen to have dreams of getting higher education, having a career, making a name for ourselves, earning money, or being capable of looking after our parents. Naah… just sex.
Another point was that this would interfere with our right to choose our partner and get married. For years men have suffered, having to wait till they turn 21 to get married. We will also walk that brave, dangerous, challenging path that you saviours have treaded upon.
Oh yes, of course, the universal adult franchise argument! Yes, choosing your leaders, who will form the government and govern you and your country, is a huge responsibility.
But I do share that responsibility with billions of others, spread over every age group. An 18-year-old girl, getting married, becoming a mother by 19 or 20 undergoes so many changes mentally, physically, and emotionally. It literally alters that girl so much in so many tiny and big ways. The two scenarios are so different from each other; you literally cannot compare them logically.
I can assure you all that almost no 18-year-old girl is sitting in their rooms right now lamenting how the society is taking away their right to get married.
I don’t care which party brings this into effect. I couldn’t care less about it. I don’t need to know rocket science to understand the society. It is no secret that there are still so many families from different religious backgrounds who get their daughters married at the age of 18.
Heck, I know so many of my classmates who have dropped out of college after getting married. It is cheap that politicians would object to this bill only based on political agendas. I have not heard even one actual, valid argument.
Having grown up in the country that still hasn’t passed the bill for 33% female representation in the Parliament, my expectations are almost nil for getting any good legislation. But it still hurts that there are so many parties who are so ready to oppose this bill with the dumbest arguments to defend themselves.
Bracing myself for another disappointment–a 19-year-old college student who is most definitely not sad that she is not married already!
Image source: Parched
I am a confused 19 year old feminist, trying to make sense of too many things at the same time, failing to do so with flying colours! read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).