My Story Of A Covid Survivor, Not A Warrior, Which Gives Hope And Vibrancy

I could never have imagined that I had already contracted the covid because I was always tested negative. It has indeed been a learning experience for me. That is my tale as a survivor, not a warrior.

After my first shot, I developed a minor fever and body aches. In the meantime, both of my children tested positive. I could never have imagined that I had already contracted the illness because I was always negative. My treatment and admission to the Command hospital were also pushed back by one week. I was bruised, beaten, and in pain, but I wasn’t dead.

After a 20-day battle, I awoke to be greeted by my family with lovely smiles and cries of joy, which made my journey a little more bearable. That is my tale as a survivor, not a warrior. And I’d like to share my experience in the hopes of spreading my message of hope, love, and belief.

It was on April 15th that I was admitted to the command covid ward, which coincided with my anniversary too. Indeed, it was one hell of an anniversary. My husband had come on leave just to get me admitted and take care of my children who unfortunately were also infected by that time and were in isolation at home. A lot had to be done and the only person who took the brunt of it, emotionally and physically, was my better half.

My 20 days in the hospital were nothing less than a nightmare. Each day was a new struggle of pain and a bit of hope that things will get better, and it did! I survived the crisis and came back home. It seemed like a dream to reconnect with my family. The very fact that I am alive makes me feel really fortunate. But a lot has changed ever since I got back. I will not deny the fact that I had psychological issues, but there has been a significant change in the way I deal with them and even process them.

How and when such events impact our lives, we cannot comprehend, but one thing became very clear to me was that nothing matters more in life than our own survival and how we sail through this life without giving much thought to things that do not require much value. 

I came to realize how many things we take for granted like breathing fresh air, which costs nothing and such an “I care less” attitude ensues. This reality kept hitting me hard while I was on oxygen fighting for life. These very realizations have made me  stronger and adaptable to my surroundings.

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Change in my relationship with my family and friends!

I am one of those privileged mothers who can say today that this crisis has made a significant change in my relationship with my family and friends. Intimacy and sense of attachment suddenly came into full play.

Probably that was lying dormant for a very long time. New and fearful challenges and responsibilities that came along with it made my kids more independent and confident in taking up difficult tasks.

There were days when my kids would stand near the door and speak to me without any human touch and that made me wonder what a beautiful gift it is to hug and kiss your children every day, yet I was deprived of this gesture for a long time.

We would often connect on video calls in the house as I was in isolation and that made my kids play the role of the protector and the provider, a process that led to establishing a very intimate and warm relationship.

Having Insomnia is also a part of  the post covid syndrome and I never realized I had so much time to either read a book, listen to music or even watch some movies at night.

But the only thing that mattered to me during that time was that I was able to reconnect, bond, and have close conversations with my kids. All the stresses and anxieties that come with the crisis have made us more adaptable and capable of handling challenging situations.

Witnessing all the joys!

Today I have been able to recover quite a bit and the only thing I can say is that all those things that just didn’t matter before have become the core of my existence — like spending time with my family, taking care of my health, and of course having a peaceful disposition. 

Coping with such a situation is not something we as individuals are prepared for and being the kind of person that I am. My restlessness and hyperactivity made things worse as the doctor had advised complete bed rest. Sitting 24×7 on the bed definitely disturbed my mental framework and forced me to work on my creative instincts. Today I can sit with my notebook and write for hours and enjoy each moment to the point of ecstasy.

I am home and this is where I belong..witnessing all the joys..be it the kids fighting over a piece of pizza, my dog spilling my tea, or even some sitting together watching Netflix and enjoying midnight snacking. All those things that were just a daily routine have taken a different perspective. 

 “ I” to “Us” have been self-rewarding.

If anything that I missed in this complete journey was my family . If anything that I gained has been their love and affection and a feeling of satisfaction that we are together.

Although I will never be able to assess the extent of distress I might have faced. I can certainly say that there has been a significant shift in my family environment and I have received all the attention and care and transformation from witnessing all the joys. “ I” to “Us” have been self-rewarding.

This complete experience has brought home some hope and love and has made us more equipped to deal with adversity. It has indeed been a learning experience for me.

I would like to say that despite all the restlessness, sleeplessness, and agitation I could not be more thankful to Almighty.  We have developed better coping skills, are less fearful of the consequences. 

Dealing with grief, loneliness, and awareness of the fact that this is the new normal has made us more positive and humane in our approach. I can only stress the point that we can change anything to our advantage if we have a positive mindset and you only live once so make the best of it….!

Image Source: Nandhu Kumar from Pexels

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