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It isn't easy for a woman to leave her husband, that too with her children. Suman chose to leave and she's determined to make it work.
It isn’t easy for a woman to leave her husband, that too with her children. Suman chose to leave and she’s determined to make it work.
Suman found herself drenched in sweat when she woke up . She looked outside the window hoping to see some signs of the night loosening its grip. She knew that the best thing she could do to fight the demons of her dreams was to wait for daybreak. But, it was still dark.
The next best thing was to have some water. She went to the kitchen and filled her glass from the pot. She did not know whether the water helps calm the mind, but it sure calmed the body. She came back to her charpoy (bedstead). Her two kids were sleeping on the one next to hers. She could hear her father shifting in his cot outside the room.
She knew he was up. He knew Suman was up. Neither of them had any words to say to comfort the other. They were saving their words for the day when reassurances were needed. Nights could be managed in silence. So they stayed where they were.
It has been eight months since she came to her father’s place. She is not perturbed by the fact that this is her father’s place, where she used to be was her husband’s place. This is the way it has always been, there is no doubt about that. She is, however, concerned about her daughter.
Will staying with her grandfather’s mar her chances of getting a husband? Will her daughter have a place to return to if history were to repeat itself?
She shivered at the thought, but eight months had given her the strength to shrug it off. Her daughter won’t be like her mother. Though she takes after her father, she won’t be like him either. Suman will make sure she turns out to be different.
She does not think of her husband now. Not consciously. Dreams don’t count as thinking, do they? They are just reflections of her past. She still gets battered down. But the wounds don’t hurt when Suman wakes up and waits for the dawn.
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Mehak Nain is a government officer. An avid reader herself, she loves to read storybooks with her son and is a gender studies student. The views expressed above are personal. read more...
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"I chose to go out into the remote, wild, unknown, and make it home," says entrepreneur Kiranjeet Ahluwalia Chaturvedi, who owns Birdsong & Beyond.
The story of my mountain home Birdsong & Beyond started taking shape in 2009, on the internet, the way many stories do these days.
My childhood fascination for a life in the Himalayas led to an internship with a central Himalayan NGO instead of a much prized corporate assignment. But when they offered me a full-time job, I refused. I was overcome by fear and a lack of confidence.
My other longings pulled me away – the longing to fit in, to earn validation from others. By my mid-30s, with all the trappings of a middle-class urban life in place, the call of the snows couldn’t be ignored anymore. So I got to work on it with clearer intentions and a stronger sense of what I needed for myself, and why.
Many Indian elderly are firm believers in enslaving a daughter-in-law in the name of tradition which is actually a tradition of oppression and not of religious faith.
Albeit, the popular culture has interpreted scriptures as suggesting that Kanyadaan is the supreme form of donation given to someone, the connotation that the word donation alludes to definitely objectifies the girl.
Even when the exegesis justify the act of giving away the daughter, considering it a ritual to mark the initiation of the daughter into her husband’s gotra and her becoming the part of his family tree.
There is no denial of the fact that this initiation is not required on the part of the groom thereby formally denoting the end of the filial ties with the daughter as it was popularly instructed to the bride during the Vidai ceremonies:
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