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How often have you been told that you are not enough? The bumblebee's story tells you why you are!
How often have you been told that you are not enough? The bumblebee’s story tells you why you are!
We can do it. We may not always know it.
But we are enough.
Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly. But the bumblebee doesn’t know it, so it goes on flying anyway. This belief was based on a lot of assumptions and some science and maths. Of course, how can science and maths be wrong? 2+2 has to be 4!
However, the bee has proved it otherwise. The important thing to remember is that maths is full of variables. Change one variable and the outcome is different. Just like the bee, we all fly at different times as we don’t know we cannot, and don’t base our decisions on science and maths. We are full of variables.
I completely relate to this. If I go back to (?) my journey, I have been written off many times, again and again. Told I cannot do it. ‘You are not good enough’ started when I was born, as some superstitious relative decided that my star did not align with my dad’s and that it would be a problem to get me married – believe me, this was told when I was born! – not even when I was of age. Somehow, these words, these thoughts never penetrated my skull. They never bothered me.
Growing up was no cakewalk either. My sister was academically so beyond my reach. She stood first in every exam and every test. You can imagine being compared to her all the time. She was the ‘good kid’ and I was the rowdy one. That set me up in a different direction as a kid, and I am glad it did.
Initially, I did everything I could to please everybody. Trying and trying hard. In one way or another, I was told that I could not fly. I was told that I did not have it in me to achieve. My outspokenness was perceived as arrogance and there was every effort made to shut me up.
Somewhere that changed – when I realised that I needed to be happy doing things that were important to me, and pleasing others was not one of them. I was enough and (understanding that) I didn’t need anyone to tell me what I was capable of set me up for success.
I realised that I was the biggest variable. Anytime I applied the variables, the outcome changed. I didn’t need others to tell me whether or not I could fly. Life happened and I made many mistakes that I learnt from. The best part was that I learnt from my mistakes that strengthened the way I looked at myself.
The minute I heard I couldn’t do something I would want to prove them wrong. If I couldn’t do the task for some reason, it was okay. I just had to apply the wings differently. I had to change the variables. I had to change the math.
The variables were the confidence quotient, the grit, and the belief in myself. The rest didn’t matter. It was also not important to succeed at everything I took up. It was not important to take myself as seriously as I would to the point of being annoying. That set me free and I took up things that I didn’t think I was capable of.
I have observed that for every person that encourages you to do better in your life, there are three who say you can’t. I took that in my stride and built a growth mindset. I figured that if you have a growth mindset you will know that even if you are not great at something, you can become great!
Hard work, inputs from others, listening and willing to work on myself at every stage of my life – all these were game changers for me! Failure was not the end of the world but an opportunity to grow. It was something that kept me grounded. Not that it was easy.
I also observed people who were successful at work and in their personal lives. The common traits that I observed were:
After the Bee movie came out, this theory that the bumblebee shouldn’t fly was quashed, saying that the aerodynamics of the bee was pretty okay and they were meant to fly. The truth is that bees simply create mini-hurricanes wherever they go, which is a lot easier to get your head around.
I was fine with this change too as all of us as women, as beings that carry responsibilities through and through, create mini-hurricanes wherever we go and keep on flying and take others with us as well.
Image credits: Photo by Joshua Abner from Pexels
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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