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I am sure we all have toxic annoying relatives who hate you for no reason. How does one really deal with them?
A lot has been written, discussed and acknowledged about toxic spouses, in-laws, for that matter even parents. But one is still to find people speaking up or sharing the mental ordeal inflicted by toxic relatives – both close and distant ones.
To understand the concept of these toxic relatives let us first define a relative. A relative is any person belonging to any age group or gender, who has an influential position in the family tree. Thus, giving you a solid reason to remain courteous to them.
Few of them are bestowed upon you by birth while few are added through a legal channel called marriage.
Obviously, you do have a few sweet souls, the ones who are your well-wishers. At the same time, there are those who just can’t seem to stand you for reasons best known only to them.
These are the ones who enjoy throwing their weight around and don’t miss a single occasion to belittle you either by words or actions. They abhor your silhouette as much as they loathe your existence.
And these relatives definitely come under the category of toxic relatives.
The news of their arrival would be enough to give butterflies in your stomach.
And when you do seem them in person, all their efforts revolve around running over your emotions with truckloads of snide remarks. It could be on anything. Right from your sense of fashion to the way you express yourself to your profession, they will make comments on it all. As a matter of fact, they won’t even spare factors that no one can control – like your height, weight or complexion!
Try calling them out simply out of courtesy and they are all geared to bombard you with a score of complaints they have against you. And in some cases, this ill-treatment is so subtle and silent, only the victim feels its presence.
Even displaying your best side will do nothing to change these people’s prejudiced views of you. To them, you are and will remain a piece of trash, no matter how well you have proved your worth on the professional and personal fronts.
Each attempt of yours to stay cordial or strike normal conversations will be crushed under the weight of their false prestige and ego.
You might often wonder what you did to them to deserve this snooty and nonsensical attitude. In fact, you might even wonder if asked, would these people be able to give you a convincing reason for their hatred?
Well, they would for sure have a response, whether it is convincing or not, is a different story. Here are some of the responses you might get:
‘Oh! You misunderstood my frankness as rudeness!’
‘I speak my mind. That’s just how I am – an open book.’
‘How could you even think such a thing?’
And right there, you will find them pushing you deep into their pool of crocodile tears. Not to forget that they will tie a boulder of guilt to your conscience and make sure that you aren’t at any mental peace.
I mean, really!
If one could come up with a mathematical equation to these explanations (white lies), this is what I think it would look like:
Their rudeness = Frankness = Naivety = Them being children at heart.
But you questioning them = pure misunderstanding/illusion.
Do you too have such people in your lives? The relations where the onus of maintaining cordial ties is constantly only borne by you? Where even after you put a ton of sincere efforts, you are perpetually at the receiving end. Relations where your politeness is misunderstood for cowardness thus, encouraging them to continue with their high-handed attitude.
It isn’t that you aren’t tempted to give them a taste of their own medicine. However, your high moral values and beliefs act as a blockage.
‘I know, I am reading your mind.’
Then, for once, keep those values aside, swing yourself into action and just give them back! Because even Lord Krishna annihilated his cousin Shishupal after he crossed his 100th offence. Not to forget the slaying of the tyrant Mama Kamsa.
Moral of the story: When God could, then we are mere mortals you see!
Author’s note: This article was written keeping just humour in mind. C’mon, life mein thoda fun element bhi chahiye. What say?
Picture credits: Still from Hindi TV series Anupamaa
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I'm a stock trader by profession. A yoga enthusiast and a qualified Yoga therapist.
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