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I had fallen in with people who controlled me, and lost my self confidence. But I have since come out of that spell, and am telling you to stand up for yourself.
Growing up in an environment where women are treated as inferior and expected to do only the things which they are told to, I’ve developed an inbuilt instinct to oppose this, right from childhood.
I hate people who want women to be in their control. These people include not only men but some women too! I have very strong opinions, and I don’t hesitate to express them to the world. My opinions might be wrong but there is nothing wrong in expressing them, is what I believe.
My mom has always said, that just like when you learn to walk, you fall, and get up again, there is nothing wrong in making mistakes if you have the guts to get up and fight again.
So I believe that you shouldn’t be controlled by other’s opinions. Little did I know, that this is exactly what would happen to me some day – being controlled by people!
Is it really necessary for a girl to be ‘sweet and perfectly dressed’ everytime?
I do have a ‘poor’ dressing sense in the sense that I prefer comfort over fashion. I would love to wander about in pyjamas instead of a pair of jeans and a top. When people judged me, I wasn’t affected at first, but eventually I started thinking like them. I tried to dress well, but the pleasure it gave me was only temporary, as things didn’t stop here.
Whenever I tried to do something or express something, some didn’t like it, and some pretended to like it, and this made me feel as though I’m good for nothing! I began to judge myself, and withdrew into myself. I didn’t like this. I could feel I’m not this kind of person. I felt like I was tied with a rope of expectations, which didn’t help me to grow. I didn’t love myself.
This continued for 3 years, and I ended up being a dull person who would just eat, sleep, do some studies and repeat!
Then lockdown was announced, and before that I was already home, and I was going to have my mom with me 24/7.
I really felt relaxed for some months as there was no one to judge me. I could do anything and everything I wanted. I felt like a free bird, and this healed me. Slowly I got confident. I started trying different things. Some trials failed and some succeeded. I started creating content on social media, which showed a good growth.
I’m working for Ayurveda awareness for common people as I’m an Ayurvedic scholar, and people are loving it! I did some things which were in my bucket list and it gave so much of joy! I made some new friends. I got connected to different people. I have got the old me, the real me back. I’m loving myself now. I know I can do good in my life and my career.
I know, that with this newfound ‘ME’, I may lose some people who liked the ‘controlled me’ but I really don’t want to go into that zone again. Yet I sometimes wonder – would my friends laugh at my opinions?
I’ve learnt one thing, though – I know I’ll overcome this too, and now I’ll never let someone control me. This was a biggest lesson to me.
So I only want to tell all the girls out there, do what you want to, wear what you love to. Don’t get controlled by the world. It will only stunt your growth. And it is never too late; no matter how old you are, you can still find your way. Opportunities will come and go; you need to find them. Love yourself first, people will eventually love you!
This might not be a sentimental story but many women will definitely relate to it!
Image source: a still from Kabir Singh
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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