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Marriage changes everything, she thought. Changes you… changes them, And there’s no support. Parents are for life – is what she’d thought.
When she was just a little girl
Being a girl child was her world
She loved to play outdoors and in
Play all day and smile within
Football was her pet play then
Kicking the ball about, till day’s end… when
Her mother would shout for her to retire
Because she wanted her to aspire
To a career that didn’t include…
Ball and foot!
She said, “Foot games won’t make a stalwart of you”
And that, she thought, was true!
She kept playing and studied too
Aspire and perspire went balancing through!
Such freedoms she had of affluence and education
You’d think it was the ideal combination
She took these for granted as so many kids did…
Parents who let her fly
A childhood was spent on high
A carefree, yet disciplined life
She became a wife.
Now someone else had a ball,
Because she was being kicked around
Her husband thought he was entitled to be
Just by dint of his gender the football player of she!
Her mother-in-law was the committed coach
Never admonished the son; males were beyond reproach
She turned to her brother,
But he shrugged and said,
“You’re married now…
So make your own bed.”
She was shocked at the reply of her brother
So she turned to her father and mother.
Her mother said,
“Wait… I’ll ask your dad,
Because I know you’re sad,
But I don’t want your dad to go mad!”
She never expected this
From her mother, a lawyer
But now, in a different light
She saw her!
“Ask my father?” questioned she,
“Ask him what, for the life of me!
I’m being beaten everyday!
So it is here, I’ve come to stay!”
But, “Wait here,” is all her mother could say.
She stood in the house
One she’d known so well
Questions with tears
Filled her head —
Marriage changes everything, she thought
Changes you… changes them,
And there’s no support
Parents are for life – is what she’d thought
Isn’t love unconditional, during your own child’s strife?
Then her mother returned,
“I’m sorry my dear
Your father is angry, says you cannot stay here”
She half expected this, so she turned
This was classic patriarchy as now she learned
She went to a friend who took her in
And fought for her cause and eliminated the sin
But how many women find help so fortunate?
The numbers are dismal so we have to alter this mindset
There’s no getting away from a realistic today
And abuse won’t disappear, or go away
Whether poor or rich
Or even educated –
But what education does, is it teaches you
To get inner strength
To see life through
Whatever’s thrown at you!
You feel you can break free of chains
And you can fight
And even this
Is not enough
Because you doubt yourself
So you don’t ask for help
Every girl child
For a better later
Mindsets are so strong
It’s so wrong !
Is tough enough
It’s rougher than rough
So mentoring the girl
Should be mandatory
And this quality service
Should be given free
If we want to change
Should be made
In a patriarchal society
It’s not just men
Who promote misogyny
It’s also women, you see
If only women
Stand up for themselves
Will their girl-children
Be able to tell
The difference between
Right and wrong
And the true meaning
Of gendering along
Independence of the mind
Is the ONLY one of its kind
Hence, not just academic
But a mindset overhaul
Because it can take years,
If not a lifetime or more,
To change a single thought
I’ve said this before
I’ll say it again
Till my voice is hoarse!
Picture credits: Still from Puma’s Propah Lady campaign
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
Scherezade is a Clinical Child Psychologist, Part-timeish mother, blogger, French teacher and IATA teacher.
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