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You are NOT defined by your body type, the color of your eyes, the sweetness of your smile, the texture of your hair, the sexiness of your strut, the functional status of your uterus.
Patriarchy will punch you in the face every single day.
Sometimes in the form of innocuous sugar-coated compliments. (“Oh! Its a boy!! Then DOUBLE congratulations!”)
Harmless little comments. Well-intentioned even. Sometimes (many times) by fellow women. Sometimes by you, yourself. Don’t be afraid to call out on it. Don’t be afraid to correct it.
You are NOT defined by your body type, the color of your eyes, the sweetness of your smile, the texture of your hair, the sexiness of your strut, the functional status of your uterus. YOU will convince yourself that belly fat is nothing short of a character flaw. You will passingly judge a friend for not wearing perfume, or some other silly un-feminine transgression. Repeat after me, “YOU ARE NOT YOUR BODY. YOU ARE MORE THAN THAT.” Your flaws lend unique flavors to your personalities. Your stretch-marks are relics of your endurance. The crow-feet around your eyes, only mean that you have laughed hard and lived well.
You are NOT defined by the kilos you weigh. There is only a thin line between striving for health and obsessing over body image. Anybody who does not happen to be your nutritionist, trainer or doctor, has no business commenting on your body. Imagine if someone asked you “What was the colour of your poop this morning?” You would be outraged. You would angrily retort: its something very personal and not anybody’s business. So is your body weight, your bust size, your BMI. You don’t owe anyone any explanation. DO NOT replace this outrage with apology, the next time someone tries to make a big deal about it. More importantly, don’t be the kind of person who does that. Do not judge a woman (actually ANYONE) by the contours of their body EVER. Celebrate one’s spirit, one’s resilience, one’s achievements. Don’t settle for anything less than that, with ANYONE.
You are NOT defined by your singlehood, your matrimony, your sexual orientation. Listen to your heart. Be a nomad if you like or a family-woman. It is YOUR choice. Let your choices be stripped of the baggages of social mores and moral conventions. DO NOT give up your right to choose.
You are NOT defined by the egg-count of your ovaries. After few years of marriage, even casual aquantainces will aquire self-appointed rights to lecture you on starting a family. In a family function or party, somebody will invariably comment, “The biological clock is ticking sweetheart. When are you having a kid?” Don’t hesitate to point out to them the obscenity of asking someone in public , whether one is fornicating for pleasure or procreation. Don’t be afraid to remind them, it’s none of their bloody business. DO NOT buy myths such as “Motherhood completes a woman.” It only complements you. You were always complete. You were always enough.
Listen girl. Love yourself. Always. In your own terms.
Image Via Pexels
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From all news reports, clearly, Aftab Poonawalla seems to be a psychopath, and It was a well-strategized story of domestic violence, abuse, subjugation, and a well-planned murder.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, gaslighting, murder, and abetting violence, and may be triggering to survivors.
One case has gripped the nation and I do not need to mention which. My problem is with how the news reflects a victim’s character. The disrespect we show to someone who was long abused and lives no more is appalling. The disservice we do to her through spoken and written words lies in the sensationalizing of the entire case.
How do you spot a crazy human? They do not have two horns and red eyes. They may have no empathy but will show it to lure the victim, just like a child abuser lures a child with candy. Their grooming styles may vary but it is mostly about creating an untrue sense of safety and security around the victim. They present themselves as this effortless savior, an ultimate generous destination for a mentally and emotionally vulnerable person.
Fathers play a crucial role in nurturing and raising children, so why isn't paternity leave considered essential?
Some time ago, Bollywood couple Ranbir Kapoor and Alia Bhatt were in the news, yet again. An entertainment website, Bollywood Hungama, reported that the expectant father, Ranbir, wished to take paternity leave to spend time with his baby when it arrived.
The website claimed that the actor would not be signing new films for the time being. He would take care of the child, while his wife Alia would return to work at the earliest.
One would think the internet would laud this sweet and thoughtful gesture. Instead, Ranbir got trolled for his decision to be a stay-at-home dad. Netizens made fun of him; they claimed that it was because he had no offers in the pipeline, and Alia was far more successful than him. Others claimed that it was the right decision – his recent films (other than Brahmastra) had bombed, and it was time he reflected on his roles.
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