#CelebrateingtheRainbow at the workplace – share your stories of Pride!
The bond between a mother and daughter is a beautiful one. But what happens when distance creeps in? Here are three tips to fix that broken bond!
While thinking about my family, I was hit by a surprising realisation that these days, I was rarely speaking to my mother. Was she avoiding me on purpose or was I just busy with my academics and friends here? I am not sure. But I definitely know that this is going to affect my family relationship terribly.
I still remember mom having a sewing machine on which she would stitch some pretty frocks and kurtas that I loved wearing as a child. And I know that she is still doing the same, but she hasn’t asked me if I need a kurta now. Is that freedom between us lost? Or does my mum not like my colourful choices now? I started thinking about this now.
There are certain situations that I have strategies for coping with. So I started planning to get my old loving and caring mother back. And I have three ways to do that.
To build a strong relationship with her, I decided to show her that I cared. Now there are several ways to share that you care. Like a lot of you, I was not particularly comfortable hugging or kissing her.
So I did the next best thing, I began with thanking her for small things. And asking her solution when I had difficulties. I also tried showing her that my life is nothing without her.
Initially, she was very defensive and unwilling to listen to me. But I didn’t give up or get upset. I decided that the next best thing was to spend time with her through phone calls.
For this, I started asking her about her dreams and ambitions and what she thought about life. When we had such conversations, she started talking to me a little more nicely. This was mostly because what she expected was just acceptance and appreciation from others.
I, too, started talking about life, family and my dreams. As a person confident about myself, I started opening up about my dreams. When she appreciated me and my dreams, I was quite happy.
While I was assertive enough to talk freely and openly, I was also aware that getting angry or getting her upset would not help. So I was careful and listened to her calmly and patiently.
In the middle of the conversation, I tried to explain to her that not everyone is the same and they don’t always have the same interests. I would often tell her, “I will treat your interests, preferences and beliefs with respect.” She found this very hard to believe but I stayed true to my word. It definitely helped me see a change in her.
Accept that you cannot control your parents’ behaviour. They may be your parents but you cannot force them to love and accept you. Though you may have an idea of what you want your relationship to be like, your parents’ behaviour is unlikely to change.
Learn to let go of what you cannot control. Instead, focus on accepting and loving your own self. Focus on making yourself better. This may not change your parents but it will help you find strength in yourself. It will help you believe in yourself.
Consider talking to a therapist about this. There is a chance you may find it difficult to open up to your family or people you know. At such times, talking to a therapist will help overcome your anger, anxiety, sadness or fears related to your parents.
Counsellors help identify what needs are not met and will help you find ways to heal. Discuss with your counsellor if family counselling is an option. Maybe involving your parents in this process might help. Family therapy could include either both or one of your parents during a session. These sessions often focus on how to communicate better and more effectively.
Having said all this, don’t force yourself to change if it doesn’t feel right. You only need to do what feels right to you. If your parents are putting pressure on you to do something you disagree with, it’s not because they want to ruin your life. Think reasonably, they might just be looking out for you or simply have their and your own best interests at heart.
Coming back to my (success) story, I recently had a conversation with my mom. And she finally asked, “I guess you are coming for vacation in April. Shall I stitch you a kurta?”
When I heard that, I couldn’t answer, I was frozen and happy.
Picture credits: Still from Marathi film Amhi Doghi.
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
I realized that my journey wasn't just about my growth and self-discovery; it was also an opportunity for those around me to learn and evolve.
CW: Mention of Suicidal Ideation and Depression
In the depths of my soul, I am Jessica Care Moore. This is the story of my journey, a tale of resilience and self-discovery that has shaped the person I am today.
From the tender age of 13, I found solace and joy in wearing female clothes. In the secret corners of my world, I would slip into my mother’s garments and gaze at my reflection, my lips adorned with her lipstick. I loved myself as a girl, and that love was pure and unwavering.
In a recent interview, Shahid Kapoor said he finally figured marriage all out. According to him, a woman marries a man to ‘fix’ a messy life!
Shahid Kapoor shared his thoughts on marriage in an interview with Film Companion. He said he finally figured it (marriage) all out. Marriage is how a woman enters a man’s life to ‘fix’ him.
“This entire marriage thing is about one thing: it is that the guy was a mess and the woman came in to fix him. So the rest of his life is going to be a journey of him getting fixed and becoming a decent person. That’s pretty much what life is about.”
But this is not the only problematic thing Kapoor said. When asked about which role of his, Mira Rajput, liked the best – actor or dad, he gave a not-so-funny answer. He said he’s not sure, but he’d hoped she liked some part of him.
Please enter your email address