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While a quick fix like getting a makeover or retail therapy helps to raise our spirits, it cannot be a long term solution. What is, then?
While I travel by air the instruction given by the flight attendant has always intrigued me.’ In the event of an emergency, please put on your oxygen mask before assisting others’ It’s an important rule for survival because if you run out of oxygen you can’t help anyone with their oxygen mask.
I always connected it with happiness and love. If you don’t love yourself how can you truly love others? Only a happy person is the one who can spread pure happiness.
It’s a message we normally ignore in a real life. We grow up with the essence of making others happy, appreciating others, loving others and in the due course forget ourselves. We forget that ‘Love begins with you”. Some would term it as self-love, others as a way of life.
Many of us find it very tough to fall in love with oneself. To have a guilt-free affair with your own self seems tougher than anything else. You are afraid of being termed as selfish and chose to be the giver at all times.
There is a very thin line between loving yourself and obsession with your own self. So we need to create the right balance, and making yourself the priority is no sin.
Playing the different roles in life we often put our self on the back seat. This syndrome of ignoring your own self results in depression, self-sympathy, frustration, stress.
It’s time you let go of the guilt, give up the excuses and put your oxygen mask first. Make yourself a Priority! Look at yourself in the mirror and say “I love you!”
Once you fall in love with yourself you literally rise in all prospects of life whether it is relationships, work, and your body, your emotional or physical health.
Then the big question “How do you put on the oxygen mask?” And yes it’s not as technical like in the Aircraft.
Well, the methods differ from person to person as all of us are unique individuals. We all try to use the most tried and tested methods first. In case it works out for you… EUREKA!
For me, some methods that give a jump-start are ~ a visit to the saloon, shopping. ~ a good work out, painting my nails or even a good makeup. ~ listening to music and feeling the oneness with the singer. ~ meeting my friends and having a good laugh. I have experienced that I feel ventilated for a while, a week, or maybe even a month.
But you can’t paint those nails every time or even be at the mercy of good friends who make you laugh. Then what?
What works best for me is a long term affair and not just a one day stand. An affair with myself forever! The feeling which makes my serotonin levels high every moment.
Serotonin is a hormone produced in our bodies. It is considered as a natural mood buster and it is thought to be a contributor to the feeling of happiness.
Through a period of time, I could frame out my individual method to use my oxygen mask. I would want to share that with you, it might just work out well with you as well.
Reaffirm loving yourself
I wake up each morning to spend just a few minutes with myself. That’s when I declutter my mind of all negative thoughts and tell myself that “Today is a new day”. Literally press the delete button to all thoughts bothering me, flush them down that gutter. A moment in front of the mirror and say “Good morning gorgeous, be stronger than your own storm.”
Detoxify
I love to pamper myself as a princess; I am a very romantic lover. As a ritual I do have a glass of lukewarm water with a dash of honey and few drops of fresh lemon. You may wonder why, weight loss, detoxifying? For me, this glass is a reminder to my own self “to eat healthy all day long.” A gesture of saying I love you to my own self.
Exercise
A morning run or workout also increases my love relationship with myself. This obviously increases the endorphin rush.
Faith, meditation
This high life condition needs to be then maintained throughout the day which is most important. If not, one does go through a fluctuating love life, and it is important that it remains constant.
Any form of meditation /church /mosque /temple visit, recitation of any mantra of your choice, is a must in one’s life. For me what has worked best is the practice of Nichiren Daishoni’s Buddhism. The chant of Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo makes me believe in myself. It makes me realize that the power to achieve my goals lies within me. It strengthens my determination and has seeded the feeling of gratitude within me.
Writing down your determination, your daily and monthly targets always helps. I even put dates. It’s like penning down your own future, being your own astrologer.
Gratitude
The evening is always with abundant gratitude to the universe, the environment. Gratitude to every person who helped me hold on to my oxygen mask.
This fairy tale continues forever and after to eternity…
About time to grab your own oxygen mask. Tailor-make it to suit your individual original self and exhale. May you live your life in such a way that others will say “She is a woman who though ordinary somehow stands out and has a beautiful story to tell.”
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The issue arose with the last name of the child. Mihal insisted her husband’s second name should be added as he had passed away when Sonu was in college.
Sonu and Roopa were all excited to celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary. It was even more special as they had just welcomed their bundle of joy in their lives. It is been just a week. Sonu’s mother Mihal wanted to have the naming ceremony as well on the same day.
While the preparations went on with inviting guests, booking the best event management team, and the buffet menu for the night, Mihal concentrated on the little one’s name. According to their family astrologer, they agreed on the name Sonia. Sonu was from Kolkata while Roopa was from South India. They followed all the religious rituals from both sides of the family and hence because of that their marriage took place without much hassle.
One of my friends told me that her husband criticized her for locking her phone, whereas the husband never allows her to touch his phone and locks it in the cupboard.
Early in the morning of May 23, 2023, around 6 a.m., I got a call from my cousin from abroad.
While speaking, he told me how he took care of me as a child. He might be two years older than me, but we studied together. So, calling him by name was not at all a problem for me. I was too sleepy as I went to sleep late the previous night.
While talking, he said, “We gave you freedom.” My eyes were sleepy, but the mini-me in me awakened me to reply to him, saying, “Freedom is not to be granted by others. It is to be lived by everyone. Men always think that they are the owners of freedom, and they control their mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters!”
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