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The Spiral In My Mind

Posted: December 27, 2019

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I like the imperfections, while anything out of order makes me flinch.

The text has to be justified but anything too structured kills me inside.

The randomness of art is something I crave for, yet I love to go back to my age old structured texts at times.

Highly impulsive, I shun away people and yearn for them at the same time.

I love something and hate it the next second.

Dominant and submissive, constantly recreating a bubble around to maintain my sanity.

The tenacity prevails slowly and also it shudders me down to pieces occasionally.

Effortless at praising people and boosting their self esteem, but when it’s about me; I can’t tolerate any bad deed.

I am a machine, a resource and a walking commodity.

On some days, I want validation for my actions, and then there are days when I do whatever makes me happy.

Solitude is something that I enjoy the most, but on some days that empty chair has a haunting silence too loud to ignore.

There are days when all the thoughts come crashing together and in a fleeting second everything goes blank.

One of these days I love strolling the streets aimlessly. Wandering, exploring, fooling around and then there are days when that mask of perfection refuses to come off.

Proud of my flaws, I adore them secretly. Not to mention the fact that I question myself repeatedly.

Is it my caliber that I question, or my mere existence?

It took time and waves of failure and success to understand such a simple thing.
I had to unlearn to be able to learn again.

I am the one, whom I seek. And I’m the one who can set me free.
I am the darkness. I am the rainbow. I am where I am supposed to be.

Who am I? What am I?
Oh! I can’t answer this in a spree.

A version of this was first published here.

Image via Pixabay

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