I wonder how long we will consider this medieval patriarchal custom. Are we really sensitized? Will our system ever be change?
My Govt. ID cards proudly announce that I am the daughter of “Mr…..” My mother who carried me in her womb for nine months, faced labour pains bravely and then gave it her all to raise me up does not exist anywhere in my identity.
Even when we are required to fill up any form of Government offices, the column next to “Name” says “Father’s/husband’s name”. There is no mention of the mother’s name and I just don’t understand why married women have an option to be identified by her husband’s name while a married man does not have so.
My son studies in a renowned convent school of the city and yes the topic “Gender Sensitization” is included in their ICSE board Social Study syllabus since primary classes. So being a woman, I should be proud that my son and the fellow students of this school or any other posh schools are going to be the sensitized citizens of our country devoid of gender bias.
But no, I feel abashed when I see “……..” Son of “Mr……” in his school ID card. Where am I, the mother? Does a child belong to only his/her father? Mother does not have any role to play in identity? Or the chapter of “Gender Sensitization” is merely a theoretical concept? In practice, from early childhood, students are being encouraged to believe that officially father’s identity is more important than mother.
Lots of compliments, poems, songs, videos, write-ups social media initiatives and hefty words to describe mother’s role in our life, but at the end, we are recognized only by our Father’s name, she is just nowhere. Our system can’t even effort to put a slash (/) to include her name as “Father’s/Mother’s name” in our Identity cards. It could mean that both are equal and we have the option to choose anyone. Though, the best is to include both the parents’ name.
I wonder how long we will consider this medieval patriarchal custom. Are we really sensitized? Will our system ever be change? Or we should admit that the modern and educated society where we believe to belong is not practising gender equality.
Image via Pixabay
A Freelance writer Tweeter: Priyamrita [email protected] read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, indivisual posts do not necessarily represent the platofrom's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Apologies to patriotic people, but most of us Indians are not sensitive to special needs people & their emotions. Let's make this world a better place for them!
Apologies to patriotic people, but most of us Indians are not sensitive to special needs people & their emotions. Let’s make this world a better place for them!
My daughter Farheena is a young, smart lady with special needs. She is 26 years of age. I was diagnosed with 3rd Stage breast cancer when she was just 11 months old. Considering how our society responds to people who are different in any way, I was so scared to die that I kicked cancer and continued living. Of course, I had to undergo regular treatment to overcome cancer, but it was not tough.
If in-laws treat their daughters in law differently, it can certainly lead to a very traumatic and sticky situation in the family.
“Can you get me some water?” asked my MIL from her place in the bedroom at 11a.m. on a leisurely Sunday.
Which surname to use, and even whether a woman or a child must use a surname at all, should be made a choice. Because surnames are patriarchal - either father's or husband's.
Which surname to use, and even whether a woman or a child must use a surname at all, should be made a choice. Because surnames are patriarchal – either father’s or husband’s.
“What’s in a surname?” they say. Yet it is such a big deal for everyone. Most women adopt their husband’s family name after marriage, and before that they carry their father’s surname. This is not just a practice in India but world over. I am not saying it is wrong and that it shouldn’t be done, but by all means women need to have a ‘Right to Choose’.
Why aren't women encouraged to give their last names to children? Perhaps the child can be given a 'unique' last name that doesn't belong to both parents!
Why aren’t women encouraged to give their last names to children? Perhaps the child can be given a ‘unique’ last name that doesn’t belong to both parents!