Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!
I parent a set of eight-year-old twins and let me tell you, the feeling is an agonising cocktail of worry, happiness, excitement, confusion, and guilt. Here's my story of overcoming that guilt - and the 10-point checklist I made from the journey.
I parent a set of eight-year-old twins and let me tell you, the feeling is an agonising cocktail of worry, happiness, excitement, confusion, and guilt. Here’s my story of overcoming that guilt – and the 10-point checklist I made from the journey.
Am I doing the right thing? Will my child grow up to dislike or worse, hate me? Am I conveying the right messages? Am I a good role-model for them to have? Have I been too harsh? Am I setting unreachable benchmarks for them?
With eight years of parenting experience behind me, I am now starting to get a hang of it. I have now come to terms with being the unapologetic, non-negotiating, fearless, badass mom who swears by guilt-free parenting. Why? Because I know my job best! Period.
Guilty parenting doesn’t do any good – neither to the parent nor to the child. It is very critical for parents to let go of guilt, in order to be able to raise their young children into disciplined, well-behaved, sensitive, empathetic and involved adolescents and adults. Guilt is a dangerous emotion, and more so when it becomes the propellant for most of the bad decisions parents make for their children.
How to let go of guilt? Did it come naturally to me? Well, no. I learned like most parents do over time. I have my own little checklist for that. Initially, I had to constantly remind myself to parent without guilt. It has now become natural. It is an art worth mastering, for your own sanity.
Here’s my little checklist.
I see guilt and self-doubt as watermarks of a sensitive and thinking parent. Parenting is not something that must force us to push ourselves to the background and stress us out, leaving us in a perpetual state of guilt.
Being a parent is about knowing the strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.
That’s what I call “50 Shades of being a parent”! There is no right or wrong. There would be many times when you’d think “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t” and that’s normal.
Let’s raise a toast to badass guilt-free parenting!
First published at author’s blog
Image via Unsplash
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!
I am a 37-year-young mother, writer, dreamer, fitness enthusiast and...oh yes, an Economist too. Like any average woman my age, I juggle between caring for my kids, running a house and a read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Be it a working or a homemaker mother, every parent needs a support system to be able to manage their children, housework, and mental health.
Let me at the outset clarify that when I mention ‘work’ here, it includes ANY work. So, it could be the work at home done by a homemaker parent or it could be work in a professional/entrepreneurial environment.
Either way, every parent struggles to find that fine balance between ‘work’ and ‘parenting’, especially with younger kids who still need high emotional and physical support from their caretakers. And not just any balance, but more importantly, balance that lets them keep their own sanity intact!
Paromita advises all women to become financially independent, keep levelling up and have realistic expectations from life and relationships.
Heartfelt, emotional, and imaginative, Paromita Bardoloi’s use of language is fluid and so dreamlike sometimes that some of her posts border on the narration of a fable.
Her words have the power to touch the reader while also delivering some hard hitting truths. Paromita has no pretences in her writing and uses simple words which convey a wealth of meaning in the tradition of oral storytellers – no wonder, Paro is a much loved author on Women’s Web.
This June we celebrate twelve years of Women’s Web, a community built by you – our readers and contributors.