If you want to understand how to become better allies to people with disabilities, then join us at Embracing All Abilities: Including People with Disabilities at Work.
A man troubled her, harassed her and forced her to marry him. None but TV Actress Nilani herself had to pay the price for all the madness.
Trigger alert: This post contains discussions & descriptions of suicide.
The reality of the entertainment industry in India – how challenging it is, especially for women, as compared to all the glamour attached to it, has often been shown in movies and spoken about in articles and books. But with so many new harassment cases coming into the light, it’s now hard to believe actresses’ smiles on screen, as a lot of pain, sorrow and suffering is often masked behind those enchanting smiles.
An example of the same in the recent case of TV actress Nilani’s suicide attempt reported from Chennai. She is well known for her performance in TV serials, a couple of them being Mahabharatham and the recent Sivagami. Being a single mother of two daughters, her life had its own challenges. But adding to her woes was the Assistant Director Gandhi Lalitkumar.
According to news sources, Nilani was continuously harassed for almost two years by Lalitkumar, insisting that she marry him. Such men’s ego is so huge that they just can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. So, he didn’t give up but kept on pestering her. She suffered in silence, but one day unable to have her mental peace disturbed any longer, she lodged a complaint with the police.
For a guy like Lalitkumar who was so full of himself and failed terribly to comprehend a simple no, this move of an outright rejection by Nilani was a huge blow. In order to teach her a lesson, Lalitkumar set himself ablaze and died due to burns. That is when Nilani’s problems escalated. She had to pay the price for standing up for herself.
Society started blaming Nilani for the suicidal death of Lalitkumar. On local media and especially on social media people started jeering her by passing very rude comments. It’s not easy to even think about ending one’s own life. A person must have undergone a lot to take such a drastic step. With Lalitkumar it was self-imposed. But people’s mockery led to Nilani wanting to end her life.
You see, the world is not a place for a woman who wants to fight and set her life’s course straight. It’s not a place for a woman with a voice and mind of her own. All attempts would be made to silence her and forcefully, make her head held high, bend down in shame.
With all the unwanted intrusion by men, how can women like Nilani ever have the basic freedom to peacefully lead their lives? Though Nilani was not wrong in lodging a complaint nor did she have any regrets about her actions, society made her vulnerable.
A man was alive, he troubled her. And then he died, and even after his death, he created more problems for her. Whether people live or die, women’s problems never seem to end. They are often blamed for mistakes which are not truly theirs.
For me, the biggest take away from this case for all other women out there is, if you decide to stand up for yourself, then the walk is going to be on very rough trails. But never ever think of giving up fighting midway. Keep going. The world will take up it’s unwanted talking, we need to harden ourselves. Turn a completely deaf ear and continue doing what you feel is right.
Image Source – Star Kitchen, YouTube
If you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal, here are some more of the helplines available in India. Please call.
Aasra, Mumbai: 022-27546669 Sneha, Chennai: 044-2464 0050 Lifeline, Kolkata: 033-2474 4704 Sahai, Bangalore: 080–25497777 Roshni, Hyderabad: 040-66202000, 040-66202001
Apart from being the Associate Editor at Women's Web, where I get to read, edit and write a lot of interesting articles, my life is simple. It begins at 'M' (Movies) and ends with ' read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
A new Gallup poll reveals that up to 40% of Indian women are angry compared to 27% of men. This is a change from 29% angry women and 28% angry men 10 years ago, in 2012.
Indian women are praised as ‘susheel’, virtuous and to be emulated when they are obedient, ready to serve others and when they put the wishes of others before their own. However, Indian women no longer seem content to be in the constrictive mould that the patriarchy has fashioned for them. A Gallup poll looked at the issue of women’s anger, their worry, stress, sadness and found that women consistently feel these emotions more than men, particularly in India.
Image source
Please enter your email address