Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
If your husband has an affair with someone else, you need to take him to task, not the other woman. She does not owe you. HE does.
Yes ladies, listen up. It is possible that this word would have hit you, sometimes ripping the heart beyond repair. It sucks, it hurts, it’s unbearable and it takes away that one thing – your confidence.
And heaven help if there is a marriage at stake.
In this post, I am just addressing the issue of the husband being adulterous. Blame games aplenty, some typically standard stuff – he fell out of love, 7 year itch, 10 year itch, 12 year itch, she couldn’t control him, men will be men, she never gave him time, she was working, she is fat etc etc. It doesn’t really matter.
When the wife has gotten her share of sympathy and/or blame from friends, relatives, and neighbours, she is finally asked to confront, threaten, plead, beg for her husband – from the other woman. It’s so painful for me to hear that!
Wives, hear this: the other woman owes you nothing. Period. She is supposed to think of what she is getting out of this ‘unfortunately caught’ affair with your husband. Why would she think about you, or the kids, or the family?
If there is one person who should have thought about this is your husband! Only him. The father of your kids, the one who married you. Only he should have been concerned about the hurt he would cause you or the family. If he did not think about it, why would his girlfriend? HE is your husband and owes you an explanation for his going astray. He is answerable to the kids, about creating a value system that they would be emulating, about ensuring their emotional well being… not his girlfriend. NO.
Please, please girls, don’t go begging to the ‘other’ woman. Are you thinking about the hurt you would cause her by tearing your husband away from her? Are you worried about her emotional well being? Are you worried how she will manage? She means nothing to you right? Then for god’s sake why should she be thinking about you or your family? THINK.
I feel it is below your dignity, and plain stupidity for you to expect her to ‘leave’ your husband. Talk to your man. Don’t let him walk away. Slice and dice your relationship with him, not what he had with his girlfriend. It’s of no consequence.
There could be a thousand ends to this. Pick what works for you and the family…
Your husband was with another woman. Who she was with is not your concern.
I genuinely pray and hope that no woman should ever go through this – but if you have to, you should know where the buck stops.
Header image is a still from the movie Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna
Founder Kontent Factory CoFounder Applyifi read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address