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This is an ode to the two feminist men in my life. One who shaped my thinking which probably led me to fall for the other one; my own father and my daughter's.
This is an ode to the two feminist men in my life. One who shaped my thinking which probably led me to fall for the other one; my own father and my daughter’s.
Four decades ago, around the time I was born, people wishing for a son was the norm. But my father wanted daughters and his wish was granted. His reason was that girls are more peaceful and make better children. (It’s debatable if he still believes in that theory of his, after going through the trauma of my upbringing!)
Right from the time my conscious memory begins, there is not a single instance where he tried to stop us just because of our gender. So while growing up, for both my sister and me the concept of gender equality or inequality never existed. Our upbringing can be termed as gender neutral (if I may use the term). Of course our larger family and the rest of the world wasn’t so broad minded so it used to confuse us initially which led to anger, gave way to disgust and finally we settled at indifference.
We’ve come a long way now, fighting our way through inequalities and biases and have known always that our father has our back. The profound impact of my father’s feminist ways is evident in the person I chose to marry.
I am married to a feminist stronger than I am. He believes and I quote him, “I always believed that both genders were equal until biology took over and I realised that the feminine gender is a little more than equal. I cannot switch biological roles with you but for the rest of the stuff we are in it together”.
From lullabies to diaper changes to weaning to cleaning up to night vigils during illness, he has kept his word. The chores were boring, even unpleasant at times but he has kept his word.
The far-reaching effects of this dynamic in our house can be seen in how our little daughter’s personality is shaping up. For her there’s no such thing as ‘Mumma’s job’ or Baba’s job’. And that is what she expects from everyone around her.
As I wish a Happy Father’s day to my father and my daughter’s father, I also hope that may the tribe of such feminist men grow and prosper.
Image via Pixabay
I am a doctor with an MD in Clinical Microbiology, working at KEM Hospital, Mumbai. I am a voracious reader, writer and blogger and believe that words can spin magic. I value truth and honesty read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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