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Why do we need to change our names after marriage like a branded horse, anyway? Is there any logical explanation for this in 2018?
So here is the question that always popped into my mind but failed to get an answer because of which I am writing this, to know your opinions.
Later I demanded the thing that I shouldn’t as it was mine and you don’t demand something that is yours. Right? Wrong. Here in my land, women have attained the privilege of asking and telling or else they are labelled as ‘REBEL’ or some uncultured property. Their thoughts are considered of no regard and they are mocked as being ‘TOO INDEPENDENT’ – well I still don’t find any meaning in this word of being too independent.
Our society follows some rules (Ah, most of them fall under the territory of women. They are born to have that privilege) one of them states that we need to change our name after marriage (though no law states this).
A gentle reminder: I am not writing this for the women who find no point of discussion on this. This is for those minimal ones who dare to disagree.
The whole idea of changing the name is considered ‘Essential’ for marriage as in how will you be branded as ‘MARRIED’ when you don’t have your husband’s name. And we readily accepted this as tradition or culture happily burying the name we loved since our childhood. How beautifully we embraced the new name without even a question mark. We suddenly get a new birth and are now referred as ‘Mrs. Husband’s name surname (his)’ and this becomes our identity for rest of our breaths. My question is ‘Where are you in this (name)?’(Strange yet willingly accepted)
Even many of us believe what is there in the name. It is our inner self that is our true identity. Well, then I point out the same, what’s in a name to change then?
Why aren’t husbands supposed to change the name (Oh it looks funny but it isn’t)? There are exceptions to this who were mocked by society for taking their wife’s name.
The answer I got was because women go to their husband’s house to spend the rest of their lives. So here we agree that marriage is the only part of acceptance for women who find it a privilege to get the brand new name. Also, we believe that men in this sense don’t marry at all because Mr. remains Mr. throughout the life while Miss changes to Mrs. for the rest. I am not against those women who willingly accepted this but please don’t tag this as love. Love never snatches what is yours so please refrain yourself from the idea that the women unwilling to change their name no more love the men they wish to marry or are married to or even that they dislike their spouse’s name or identity or they don’t have tolerance or acceptance or they are too ambitious to have family values. We don’t love someone because of (only) their name.
I am writing this in favour of those voices who want to yell but are unheard. It takes a brave heart to disagree to something that is followed since ages.
Is it wrong to demand something that is yours? (Unanswered, as always)
Image via Pixabay
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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