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Catch the low feelings in time before they deepen to depression. What can you do alone at home to bounce back and feel better about yourself?
While we women are naturally adept at multi-tasking and are generally on top of things, we experience low moments every once in a while in routine life. What we need at such times are ways to overcome that moment, cast aside the negative thoughts and carry on with life.
Husbands are naturally equipped to be compassionate and eloquent in grave matters such as the impact of North Korea’s nuclear program, glitches in filing GST returns, standing by Dhoni during his losing streak as captain…you get the drift! But come the wife’s moments of emotional distress — side-lined for a well-deserved promotion, MIL’s badgering for a grandchild, the weight gain/grey hair appearance, overwhelmed with the work/life balance act, a botched attempt at single-handed 3 course cooking for the guests — and the poor things are rendered clueless and helpless!
Their version: The first time I proposed a solution she said can’t you just stay shut and listen to my feelings! But the next time I was quiet and let her be, she accused me of ignoring her and saying nothing to comfort her!
Personally speaking, it’s my parents who have been my most solid source of strength and made me bounce back whenever I was feeling down and low on any matter, big or small. It’s definitely a bit harsh, isn’t it, to expect a husband to possess the same repertoire of reactions as my seasoned Dad, who knows just the right thing to say or do? Or my mom who pulled punchlines like “अनुकूल परिस्थिति में तो कोई भी अछे से रह सकता है, विपरीत परिस्थिति में अछे से रह सके तो कुछ मत्लब!” (Translation: Anyone can live nicely in convenient circumstances; it is only worth it if you can live nicely in adverse circumstances!)
So what did my Dad do differently?
So away from my parents, not wanting to disturb my girlfriends either (as they too are busy dealing with their share of life’s messes), and to the great relief of my hubby — over time I have managed to figure out how best to deal with the low moments myself.
It starts with taking a deep breath, drinking a glass of water and then doing one/more of the below:
The mind might still be on the negative thought loop while we bathe but the physical relaxation will definitely have some impact, you will feel lighter!
‘Peppy’ is key here, so have one such list handy. Think ‘Let it go’ from Frozen and ‘London thumakda’ from Queen. You don’t want to be listening to ‘Kitni baatein yaad aati hain’ from Lakshya and escalate your lows to weeping!
Nothing beats stress for me like watching an episode of Friends, even though I may be seeing it for the zillionth time! I also find the jokes and quotes in Reader’s Digest very engaging.
On a bad day and with a messy headspace, I end up doing some blunders even in the routine tasks and that’s it! I go into melodrama mode: nothing is right in my life, I am useless, why always me and so forth. Therefore, when feeling low, never ever take up an uninviting routine task like cleaning/washing etc.
If I don’t have any book or am bored of listening to the same playlist, I pick up a random topic and start reading up about it on the net. So in my routine, I keep a list of such topics for reading later, or save interesting articles as bookmarks. For example, once I read up everything about Operation Blue Star since I never knew the whole story. Doing such a thing gives you loads of new information and your focus shifts.
Again need to choose a bit wisely what you want to see; looking at videos of your last birthday celebration at your parents’ place will definitely make you more homesick. Instead some crazy video from your college days or that of an office party can cheer you up!
Published here earlier.
Image source: pixabay
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Art, craft and cooking enthusiast. Sporadic writer/blogger. Eternal optimist:)
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