Self Love Or Narcissism! Find Out Where You Fall

Self love is a good thing, but which category do you fall into, ladies? Those who have self esteem, the self obsessed, and the narcissists.

Self love is a good thing, but which category do you fall into, ladies? Those who have self esteem, the self obsessed, or the narcissists?

It is a very good thing to have self love. That is what we would call self esteem. Then, we often see people around us who are self obsessed. While it is not a desirable thing, it is still better than being a narcissist.

All this time you might have been declared by someone or the other as either a self-obsessed person or a crazy narcissist when all you would have merely done is look into the mirror and appreciate how the good Lord has blessed you with pretty locks or lovely eyes. And in that guilt you would have probably stopped checking yourself out for the next few hours by taking that person’s judgment about you seriously.

Well, not to worry. I’ve laid down the basic definition and some explanation for all the three labels so commonly used, and yet so rarely understood. By the time you get over reading this article, you will be quite clear in terms of where exactly you stand, and in which category you fall.


Image source: original

Got any idea looking at this graph yet? Nope? Let me help you. We are talking about the difference between a Self-Loving, Self-Obsessed and a Narcissist person and how to spot that difference.

Just go through these definitions and keep your self-judgment cells active!


Ruling thought – ‘I exist and thank god for that!’

It is a sane situation where you love everyone around you including yourself. You follow the Marilyn Monroe mantra that everyone’s a star and deserves a right to twinkle. You acknowledge that everyone is beautiful and possesses at least one such thing that can be appreciated about them. You accept this part about yourself as well. It is not tough for you to write a love letter to yourself.

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

All in all, it’s a win-win situation, an ideal one.

You also very well know that it is important to maintain self esteem and be compassionate about yourself. It is nothing but self-care, and definitely cannot be termed as selfishness. It is the self-care system and this is how it looks.

self love cycle

Self love cycle. Image source: pinterest

This is how you take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally.

You also practice empathy with others. You have the inbuilt ability to understand the other person and their situation. You’re a good listener, you gel well with other people, and you feel what others feel. You never forget to carry a handkerchief to the movies. You are a compassionate soul!

The best part about you is – you keep your reality check system on. You’re not oblivious of your imperfections and rather work on them to polish yourself further. Healthy, very healthy!

You are like the Kung Fu Panda of the town. Cheers to that.


(synonym ‘vanity’)

Ruling thought – ‘Concentrate on ME people!’

You are arrogant enough to be ignorant. You ignore the presence of other people and are unreceptive emotionally. In short, you’re self-centred and vanity runs in your veins. You think you’re the glowing sun in the galaxy and the planets revolve around you.

You personally feel that the only planets visible enough to be talked about are nothing but – Your Stuff, Stuff-You-Love and Stuff-You-Hate. Trust me dear self-obsessed, this is too Stuffy for others. And yes, ‘others’ exist. And no, they are not Pluto!

Look at this picture; this is how your universe looks like.

the universe

Image source: here

Finding it amusing to be self-obsessed, are you? Let me tell you, there’s a very thin line and you might just transform into (lord save you) a narcissist. Want to know what’s that thin line? Have a look at your universe again. That last orbit of ‘others’; erase it and you enter the narcissist zone. Trust me; you’ll burn there like nowhere.

Want to be saved? Go back. Go back to working on yourself, working on your compassion for others, your listening skill. Love others, recognise them, appreciate them, feel them and that way you’ll feel a lot more alive and lively.

And a suggestion – how about simply being conscious about your self-respect and letting go that thingy called Ego?

Remember Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter series, that self obsessed git? He needs a hug. Do you too?


Ruling thought – ‘This Universe consists of Myself!’

This describes the narcissist – “I’m nothing, and yet, I’m all I can think about.”

If you are a self absorbed, consistently selfish person stuck on yourself and completely blind to other people so much so that you cannot tolerate them and don’t have the capability to comfortably coexist with them, well then, god save you. You are an evil asshole with no soul. And soon you’ll be asked to ‘R.I.P’ by this world. They’ll simply walk away from your life.

By the by, Hitler was a case of malignant narcissism (a scary personality disorder).

Now no need to push that Denial Mode button on. Just save yourself, it’s never too late. Start working on expanding your universe. Don’t chuck out others, rather embrace them. And stop embracing yourself too tightly. Make your ‘Me’ a ‘We’. How about one random act of kindness every day?

So there you are. You can loosen up your self-judgement cells now while I summarise it all for you.

‘Self-Loving’ are those who have a fire in them which keeps them warm from inside and towards others as well. While the ‘Self-obsessed’ think they aren’t just hot, they are fire. And god bless them, the ‘Narcissists’ can actually set their self-absorbed world on fire with their blazing hot tongues and blind eyes.

So the next time someone tells you, you’re self obsessed, you know what to tell them (or yourself!). And uh, dear Narcissist, you’re unbearable!

PS: Taking a selfie is cool, we are okay with that.

Image source: woman looking in the mirror by Shutterstock.


About the Author

Rushati Ghosh

Rushati Ghosh, a published author, has been secretly writing stories since early childhood days, hiding them under table mats, bed mattresses and in her brother's retired toy boxes. After deriving and ‘hence, proving’ numerous read more...

2 Posts | 5,683 Views

Other Articles by Author

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

All Categories