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So, Valentine's Day is over. A college girl speaks of the pressure to have a valentine, in the time of social media updates!
So, Valentine’s Day is over. A college girl speaks of the pressure to have a valentine, in the time of social media updates!
Valentine’s Day is that one day among all the 365 days when every person on earth, like mostly everybody, really wants a valentine, regardless of how real the relationship is or will be. Whether you say ‘I do’ on February 14 or on any other day, you look forward to those cute dinner dates and lots of romance. (This is especially for girls)
It’s a fact that every girl dreams of feeling ‘special’ by one person or sometimes, anybody. The whole point is ‘feeling special’. All of us know how difficult it really is for a girl to not think about being perfectly ready for an occasion. On a special day like this, it is all the more difficult. But what really has to be observed is that Valentine’s Day is far beyond just dressing well and gifting your valentine.
Talking from a girl’s point of view, the pressure is definitely a lot higher than one could think of. When I say pressure, I mean the mental stress young girls face today to have a perfect Feb 14. We are in the 21st century and the effects of internet and SNS is felt in every bit of our lives. On occasions like Valentine’s Day, the hype is really hyped.
Well, coming back to the story, whether it is accepted or not, there is some kind of an indirect pressure felt by most girls, especially teens, on Valentine’s Day. Most single teens are irritated to see classmates and peers plan for V-day. Neither do you know how to react nor do you know how it really feels like to have a valentine and celebrate.
Girls studying in schools experience more of such feelings than a woman in college. Maturity clearly plays a role here. Once you are in your 20s, you are more aware of the fact that one day out of the long year cannot decide your love life for the rest of your existence on Earth.
One of my close friends once told me her experience or maybe her take on Valentine’s Day and everything else related to it. Right from her heart…in her words:
“It is hard. It really is. February start hote hi, tension shuru hota hai. Pressure to have a valentine; if you already do, pressure to have a good day with him. Pressure to look good and also make him feel good with happy gifts. It is clearly not one-sided. You are hoping he surprises you and also hope he’s planning stuff for you like you do. Basically, you want him to feel exactly what you feel.
Well, I cannot tell you if guys really do, but girls do yaar. They are scared and worried and anxious and what not! At least I do and I know a bunch of others who do.
For Indians, the scene is a little different from that in the Western world. When it is about their daughter, Indian parents are generally too melodramatic. So, the drama starts right from planning how to draw a perfect plan to move out of house on Feb 14th.
You make statements like, ‘Maa, Anjali ka birthday hai.’ or ‘My friend met with an accident. I need to rush.’ Now, this planning starts almost one week before. With all that chocolate day and teddy day, I just feel more of all the mixed feelings that I have been feeling.
Most guys want to meet you throughout the week and celebrate, but it is not easy. You first need to save for each day and those gifts, though it’s mostly guys gifting us. But I do not want to take and not give. So, it definitely needs a lot of saving. If you are a teen, the pressure is more. That’s mostly because of your peers and how people label it when you are in your school.
Moving on, I remember visiting different gift shops to buy good and ‘cute’ gifts. It is so embarrassing to ask the shopkeeper for a gift. I fail to understand why but it really is. Now, I would call buying a gift a pressure too. Easy nahi hai bhai! Most importantly, spending all the money I saved since so many months. I could spend all that on my clothes and food. Now comes the real test. You gotta get ready. It sounds so much fun but dude, you ain’t attending your best friend’s wedding or bachelorette party.
I’m somebody who believes that everybody is beautiful in their own way. But boss, yeh sab nahi chalega Valentine’s Day ke time. Makeup! Nobody cares if you do not know; learn it. Hairstyle! Blow your hair or chop them off; just look good.
Every year since my class 12th, I have a friend’s birthday or wedding on Feb 14th. Not weird. Everybody knows the truth. I take more than an hour choosing what to wear and do not forget those perfect footwear that you need to wear. Bag or clutch; straightened hair or curls. Once all this is done successfully, you just need to rock yourself in front of him- hoping he likes your gifts.
Well, this is just a bit of it. With time, things have become tougher and easier. For instance, you can order gifts online to avoid some of the most embarrassing moments you might face. But you know how creepy SNSs act. All the SNS and apps get ready to make your profile all red and provide you with some new themes and activities.
Meanwhile, you see people posting snaps and pictures of their preparations for the day, almost 2 weeks before it actually arrives. You see all your friends post different activities and pictures- just red! All you see is red. You see all your friends post different activities and pictures- just red! All you see is red. I wonder if anything else comes every year that terrifies you to this extent. No, don’t say birthday! Nobody judges you on your birthday. CHILL!”
What we really have to realize is that it is just another day. It is acceptable to party and spend time and celebrate. But it is not wise to over-do things. In case you (you and he) are really in love, you do not have to worry. You love is definitely beyond just one day. If you ain’t really in love, you still do not have to worry. After all, you are supposed to be liked the way you are.
Now, I do not intend to say, ‘Don’t get ready. Don’t surprise him.’ All I mean is to not judge yourself or your relationship with just a day. He might not have surprised you with your favourite LBD, but does not make him a bad guy. Not all guys are like heroes in movies. Whatever said and done, it all depends on your perception. Do what you feel is right but do not pretend to be anybody else. Greetings!
Image source: pressure to have a valentine by Shutterstock.
19 // Mass Communications from Hyderabad // Aspiring journalist // Food and fashion lover read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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