Does A Woman Ever Rest? Why Does She Bear All Responsibilities?

Posted: November 6, 2015

When do our women really rest? When do they get retired from their duties? Can’t we expect a little bit of empathy from our own partners?

We all know how important rest is to the human body. There has been enough said and researched in this regard. Especially when it comes to women’s need for rest, all researches and reports say that women need more rest than their male counterpart to feel as equally energized as them.

Keeping this in mind I have been observing closely how much rest do women in our lives really get. My mom who is in her mid-fifties and diabetic, she generally gets about 6.5 hours – 7 hours sleep a day. She is mostly running around doing something or the other around the house. She is the last person to eat after serving my father. She is the person who has to serve when my father needs something, a little more rice or the water even though it is kept right in front of him. She is the one who takes care of her grandchildren; be it picking them from the school van, to taking them to their hobby classes or worrying about their snacks, play time and others. Thankfully she doesn’t need to do regular cooking, as we have a cook.

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Whereas my dad, who is in his sixties, enjoys his retired life, gets about 10 hours of sleep a day, since morning he relaxes on the sofa and reads a newspaper. He gets his tea and breakfast served on the sofa as well. Goes for a stroll whenever he feels like. Has his lunch on the time he wants to have it, takes an elaborate afternoon nap and watches TV from the evening.

He not only is busy throughout the day with this, he also has a lot of opinion around how the work should be done, which the rest of the women in the house should undertake, such as how a dish needs to be cooked, how much masala needs to be added, when it needs to be cooked, when and how to put the kids to sleep. How to handle them right, how their homework needs to be done etc. And all of these instructions are given sitting on the sofa!

Recently mom slipped and fell on her back, since then she has been suffering from back pain. But her daily chores haven’t changed. Let alone offering to help, my father (her companion for more than 35 years now) didn’t even come to her rescue to pick her up or asked her how is she feeling. Immediately after this incident, one night when we all sat for dinner (mom also sat down after taking care of dad’s needs), suddenly he said, “I need little more rice, please give me more.” The rice bowl was kept right in front of him. Even then, mom had to get up with her back pain to serve him that extra spoon of rice.

This incident makes me wonder, when do our women really rest? When do they get retired from their duties? Can’t she expect a little bit of empathy from her own partner? Even when she is unwell, why is she expected to continue doing her duties and responsibilities? Why is she made to feel guilty about not been able to fulfill her duties, because she is unwell? Why isn’t her partner bothered about the physical well-being, leave alone mental stimulation and well being? Why can’t he just do a bit for her, just to comfort her. After all, companionship is all about sharing each other’s roles and responsibilities and pitching in for each other, isn’t it?

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