Child Rearing: Whose Responsibility Is It Anyway?

Posted: November 6, 2015

Are men ready for this challenge? How many men can proudly say that they have taken down their working hours to accommodate the family needs? How many men can boast of sacrificing their career so that their women can excel?

Recently, I had shared a post titled What Holds Back Women MBAs In Their Careers? on Facebook with a question: why is it always a man employee who is preferred over a woman employee, only because she is going to be married one day and have kids?

A male friend of mine commented, “Naturally, women are responsible for the upbringing of the kids and holding together the family” and this got me thinking, whose responsibility is it anyway to bring up the children?

Is it going to be the women always, because they are the one who are ‘privileged’ to bear children? This seems most convenient and most natural. But have we as a society ever thought what the women may be going through while she is contemplating whether to give in to the pressure from society of bringing a child in her life, thereby permanently making her less professional, less productive, less reliable or less strong? (Well, this is the natural thought process of the society).

Though she may be equally educated as her man, have the same strength and probably be even more loyal than him, still she is seen as a weak contender because she is going to be married and have kids or going to be solely responsible for holding the family together.”

Consciously or unconsciously her liberal and modern man expects her to take care of the kids that are going to be born or have already born, singlehandedly because he is busy earning for the so-called family!

On the other hand she is thinking that her so called liberal and modern thinking man will support her not only financially, but also by sharing the responsibility of upbringing children and moreover for holding the family together, helping her in day-to-day activities of their children.

But her expectations (rather dreams) are shattered immediately after the post-natal honeymoon period is over, and she is back to work. She learns that though she has accommodated her new responsibility in her daily routine, her man is happily oblivious to this fact. He does not even feel the need to change his routine in favour of the family. On the contrary he spends more and more time in the office! His argument? “I have added responsibility now, so I need to really work hard to bring in more money, to secure our future.” Wow, what a sacrifice! But do women really need this sacrifice? This is like giving someone mango when they are simply asking for banana.

Have our so-called liberal and modern thinking men ever thought of this? Have they tried understanding their women the way women want them to? Simply raising slogans and talking big is not going to make women more liberal or let them take a truly independent decision of concentrating on careers, while enjoying family life and motherhood. It is only when men start sharing the responsibility of the family in true sense the women can shed this sense of false responsibility and start following their dreams more freely.

Are MEN ready for this challenge? How many men can proudly say that they have taken down their working hours to accommodate the family needs? How many men can boast of sacrificing their career so that their women can excel?

I would love to hear from men on this.

Image via Shutterstock.

First published at author’s blog

I am a person with various interests in life. People around me love my enthusiasm,

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