If you want to understand how to become better allies to people with disabilities, then join us at Embracing All Abilities: Including People with Disabilities at Work.
Should I go in for that promotion?
I was pregnant and simultaneously working towards a much-coveted job promotion.
It was sudden and unplanned. We would be parents now. Only 27, full of ambitions and corner office dreams, my heart skipped a beat. But shouldn’t I be happy? Isn’t this the miracle of God, the ultimate gift, the hope of fulfillment, which is supposed to ‘complete’ me? In all honesty, those were not my feelings. At all. My goal-driven, work-obsessed mind could only think of how I would manage to work towards my next promotion, which was due in 4 months!
What followed was lots of ecstatic reactions by friends and family and lots of biological changes in my life. But what remained was my grit to keep gunning for the promotion. As days drew closer, I was moved into 3 projects simultaneously. Yes, I was a management consultant – the type who works, travels and has no life really. I took them on – luckily no travel was involved – with only few client presentations and interactions. Why did my bosses do this? Of course, I never talked about being pregnant. And I had severe morning, afternoon, evening or anytime of the day sickness. But it was winters and I’m on the ‘healthier’ side anyway. So, well – let’s say this was part of God’s plan.
One day, when a dear (hence emotional) friend dropped in for dinner and saw me working furiously on the laptop way past 10 pm – he couldn’t help but say “Why do you have to be so ambitious now? You’re neglecting your health and more so the baby’s. Take it slow, Neha. Your life is changing.” I paused. Was this about being ambitious only? No. To me this was about getting my due. I had worked very hard over the last 2 years, and I was not going to let anything come in the way of getting rewarded and acknowledged for my hard work.
Was this about being ambitious only? No. To me this was about getting my due. I had worked very hard over the last 2 years, and I was not going to let anything come in the way of getting rewarded and acknowledged for my hard work.
And this was it – the first dilemma of a working mom. Is it fine for a mom-to-be to continue looking at her career goals the same way? Is it possible? Am I already harming my baby because of my desires? Am I a selfish mom already? Is a mom not supposed to have any goals of her own? I constantly dealt with these questions. I spoke to my little baby often. Explaining to her what this means to her mom and how this was nothing about loving her any less. I hoped she understood.
That promotion happened in my 5th month. It was my grit and my husband’s immense support and deep understanding of who I am that led to it. He never stopped me from working extra, over time, because he understands what work means to me. But he also ensured that our baby and her mum were well-nourished by putting the right food in front of me everyday for breakfast, packing me 3 dabbas of fruits (my only craving!) and force feeding me at night while I worked. My family was the backbone – no one intervened or questioned our ways – they trusted us to do the best we could for our baby. And of course, my baby. She was mostly well-mannered, not creating much of a scene by tumbling around, when I was in presentations/ discussions for hours at end. I think she heard me. I think she knew what she was getting into.
Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and your beliefs. Don’t be apologetic for gunning for your goals. Choose your sacrifices wisely. And most importantly, choose your life partner wisely too.Never miss real stories from India's women.Register Now
Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and your beliefs. Don’t be apologetic for gunning for your goals. Choose your sacrifices wisely. And most importantly, choose your life partner wisely too.
When I hear senior women talk about ‘a supportive family’ now – I know exactly what they mean. For a man to move ahead in his career, single, married or parent, the onus remains largely on him. For a woman, the dynamics change as motherhood approaches – for some these also change with marriage. But at the end of the day, it is about choices we make for ourselves. I chose to fight for my due, my reward at work. I did what I believed in – and those who truly loved me, understood me and stood as my pillars of strength. For true love is about nurturing and letting us fly. And it’s the same lesson I decided to teach my baby, the day I got that promotion call from the boss. Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and your beliefs. Don’t be apologetic for gunning for your goals. Choose your sacrifices wisely. And most importantly, choose your life partner wisely too.
Cover image courtesy Shutterstock.
Entrepreneur. Learner. Doer. Feminist. Free-Spirit. Spiritual. Non Ritualistic.
"It begins with you - and the actions you do" read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
As parents, we put a piece of our hearts out into this world and into the custody of the teachers at school and tuition and can only hope and pray that they treat them well.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of physical and emotional violence by teachers, caste based abuse, and contains some graphic details, and may be triggering for survivors.
When I was in Grade 10, I flunked my first preliminary examination in Mathematics. My mother was in a panic. An aunt recommended the Maths classes conducted by the Maths sir she knew personally. It was a much sought-after class, one of those classes that you signed up for when you were in the ninth grade itself back then, all those decades ago. My aunt kindly requested him to take me on in the middle of the term, despite my marks in the subject, and he did so as a favour.
Math had always been a nightmare. In retrospect, I wonder why I was always so terrified of math. I’ve concluded it is because I am a head in the cloud person and the rigor of the step by step process in math made me lose track of what needed to be done before I was halfway through. In today’s world, I would have most probably been diagnosed as attention deficit. Back then we had no such definitions, no such categorisations. Back then we were just bright sparks or dim.
Pathaan touted as SRK’s comeback has been in the news for mixed reasons. Right from the hype around SRK’s comeback and special mentions his body contours; yet I can't watch it!
The movie touted as SRK’s comeback has been in the news for mixed reasons. Right from the hype around the movie being SRK’s comeback and special mentions his body contours and even more than the female lead!
For me, it’s not about Deepika’s bikini colour or was-it-needed skin show. It’s about meaningful content that I find is missing big time. Not just this movie, but a spate of cringe-worthy narratives passed off as ‘movies’ in the recent past. I feel insulted, and not because I am a devoutly religious person or a hardcore feminist, but because I feel the content insults my intelligence.
But before everything else, I am a 90s kid who in the case of movies (and maybe more) is stuck in time as it wrapped around me then and the gamut has too hard an exterior for me to crack it open!
Please enter your email address