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Sometimes, the best parenting lessons are sourced from other parents, those who are in the same journey as you.
Sometimes, the best parenting lessons are sourced from fellow parents, those who are in the same journey as you.
Parenting is not a cakewalk! Children are difficult, noisy and always bounding around with energy. You want to keep up with your kids, but you can’t. You wonder how your parents managed to raise you. You look at your aged parents, your older siblings with kids, neighbours with families, and you realise that there is so much to learn from them. Here are a few things I learned about parenting from other parents.
With a family to raise, I learned the value of money. Yes, I love my family, but love is not going to put food on their plates. I learnt from my parents that we could live frugally, and we could still be happy. We also learned to be content with what we had. My parents also decided to save up for my college education. I did the same when I had my kid. The most important gift my parents gave me was an education, and I would do the same for mine. You have to conscientiously practice saving, for a better future for your kid and yourselves.
If you had thought of yourself as an impatient person, having kids will compel you to reconsider that notion. When your little one throws a tantrum because you did not get him the toy he demanded, is down with the flu that is going around, or is experiencing difficulties learning his letters, you have to be patient. You have to remind yourself time and time again that you cannot be a child like your kid, but be the adult and find solutions to the problems. You will learn patience from the day you bring your darling angel home, and this lesson will benefit you, at home and work.
You could be taking on the world, flying across the country closing million dollar deals, but it is important that you make time for your family. The only people who will always back you are your family. They cared for you when you were starting out and had to overcome mountains of difficulties. They will support you from the start to the finish, so don’t forget them.
You have to remind yourself time and time again that you cannot be a child like your kid, but be the adult and find solutions to the problems.
Even if you have long hours at work, when you are home, switch off your phone and spend some quality time with them. Unless you are present in your child’s important moments, you will have missed so much before you realize. He will be packing his bags for college, and you will be left reminiscing the days when he was a toddler, running around in nothing but his diaper. So, be there for your family, before you begin to regret.
You will learn what you are worth and how you should be treated. You will also know how important your kid is and how he should be treated. When you give respect is when you are respected in return. Kids ape their parents’ mannerisms and habits. So if you are in the habit of bad-mouthing people in front of your kids, be certain that they will pick it up. You will take care to not teach your kid to foul language, and you will find yourself discouraging such a habit as your kid grows up. Once you have learned that you can do better as a person and as a parent, you will not settle for less.
The most important lesson you can teach your kid is humility. You will be proud of your achievements in your workplace, and also of your kid as he grows up. However, you should not let pride get to you or your child. Disappointments will be followed by achievements, but you cannot let that pull you down. So learn to be humble even in triumph, and your little one will also learn to be humble.
The most important lesson you can teach your kid is humility. You will be proud of your achievements in your workplace, and also of your kid as he grows up. However, you should not let pride get to you or your child. Disappointments will be followed by achievements, but you cannot let that pull you down.
What we inculcate in ourselves, impacts not only us but also our children. We have seen that with our parents and ourselves. Also, people like our parents who have years of parenting experience will not give you bad advice. They have had this job longer that you, and if you are successful today in your life, you know that your parents have done exceedingly well in raising you. Be thankful to them, and raise your kid with equal patience, compassion and judicious decision-making.
Header image courtesy Shutterstock.
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If you want to get back to work after a break, here’s the ultimate guide to return to work programs in India from tech, finance or health sectors - for women just like you!
Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend related to personal financial planning and she shared how she had had fleeting thoughts about joining work but she was apprehensive to take the plunge. She was unaware of return to work programs available in India.
She had taken a 3-year long career break due to child care and the disconnect from the job arena that she spoke about is something several women in the same situation will relate to.
More often than not, women take a break from their careers to devote time to their kids because we still do not have a strong eco-system in place that can support new mothers, even though things are gradually changing on this front.
No law in the country recognises enabling the rapist to walk free after marrying the survivor. However, in reality, it is something that families and communities often push for.
In the same week where the Delhi High Court on Wednesday, 11 May, saw a split decision on the constitutionality of the marital rape exception, another equally reactionary decision was handed by a divisional bench of the Supreme Court when they set aside the conviction and sentence of a man who had repeatedly raped his 14 year old niece
The facts of the case are simple. The accused, K Dhandapani, enticed his 14 year old niece with the promise of marriage and raped her several times. The family came to know of the offence when the girl became pregnant, and a case was lodged against him under the Protection of Child from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act, 2012. After trying his case, in 2018, the Sessions Court found him guilty on all three counts, and convicted him and sentenced him to 10 years rigorous imprisonment. The accused appealed to the Madras High Court which upheld the conviction and the sentence in 2019.
The girl gave birth in 2017, before the case came up in court. Despite the pending case against him, he continued to have sexual relations with the girl, and she gave birth to her second child at the age of 17.