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Being educated is no deterrent to holding misogynist opinions, as these two interactions reveal.
In our society, intolerance is prominent and scary. What is even more terrifying is having to hear such nonsensical opinions from educated people.
I was talking to two classmates while having lunch in a restaurant. Conversation went somewhat this way :
X: Abortion is a sin.
Y: Oh yes, its terrible.
Me: Abortion is a sin?
X: Yes, of course. You are killing a human being here.
Me : Shouldn’t we leave that to the parents? What if they are not ready for a baby yet?
X: Then what’s point in having the child in the first place? They should simply avoid doing immoral stuff.
Me: Well, if they are consenting adults, then who are we to judge?
X: We can because it’s against out culture. One can be in a relationship but should not be involved in indecent things.
Me: Well, for some people, being in a relationship is counted as ‘indecent things’. So are you going to change yourself to comfort them?
X : *smiles*
Me : You can choose to refrain from things that you don’t like. But you can’t judge or force someone to follow your way. It’s like, just because you don’t like the colour “blue”, you criticize anyone wearing a blue shirt.
The conversation didn’t end there, where he merely repeated the same thing over and over. He is one of those guys in my college who always dresses fashionably with western clothes and shows off his gadgets, which again are invented by foreign people. So lecturers about tradition from him was really unbearable. But there was more.
*** *** *** *** ***
Another conversation with the same person went like this:
Me : It’s really nice to see girls in sports.
X : Yes. They are always fit.
Me : Of course. They have to practice a lot for hours.
X : Yes, but they are not really desirable.
Me : Why’s that?
X : In our society, men desire to marry women who have soft bodies. While practicing, their body hardens. Hence they have a hard time finding husbands.
I literally didn’t know how to respond.
What has been your experience with finding misogyny in places where you thought it wouldn’t exist? Share!
First published at the author’s blog
Breaking sexism image via Shutterstock
Free thinker, Feminist, Dancer, On-your-face blunt, Sarcastic, Avid Reader. Engineering student by education with a passion for technology. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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