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Here is an ode to lost romance, in the time of busy kitchens, offices, and homes. The title is borrowed from Eliot's poem The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock.
Here is an ode to lost romance, in the time of busy kitchens, offices, and homes. The title is borrowed from Eliot’s poem The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock.
The Love Song of J. Sadhana Prakash
Chapatis, onions, potatoes and salt
Know no halt.
In her tired musings
Sad Sadhana sought her spouse
In that never-never land,
In high green grass
Trailing billowing silks,
Leads and follows
In the led life
An arena had become the house,
Not a moment to relax,
That reminds her
She has to prepare the details of income tax
Office, chapaties , onions, potatoes and salt know no halt.
It’s six o’ clock.
Tiffins to pack,
Kids to send to school,
House to lock,
The maid hasn’t come.
In the bus she hopes for a seat
To rest her already tired feet.
It’s six o’clock.
Dinner to cook,
Homework to supervise,
The furniture to be dusted,
The sweet-nothings had become rusted
Long out of use.
She tried her best
But civil wars always bust the bubble
Leaving behind the forlorn rubble.
Gradually turned the bed cold.
The constant worry –
I hope I haven’t forgotten the pill –
I’ll have to face the abortionist’s scalpel,
Turn the weakly dose
All the more chilled
Once, the plan for ‘our two’ was fulfilled.
What a hassle it was
Getting leave and a bed in hospital
The round of ‘ayahs’ and crèches
Had become nightmarish.
Office, chapaties, onions, potatoes and salt, know no halt
With the changed social role
Sadhana resents she was born a female
And he a male.
The children to bear
The house to run,
Money to earn
Force her to ask the overwhelming question –
Is it worth it – this all?
Will there ever be a time
When she will bid goodbye
To her dreams, indecisions?
Putting on a brave face,
But who won’t, can’t forgo a chance
To throw a lance
(Perhaps, a resultant of her tensions?)
And the emotion
To which the spring, the air, the very season contributes,
They have almost forgotten the first flush.
Hurled accusations, a sense of being cheated remain.
In the never-never land
Trailing billowing silks
Pic credit: Picturepurrfect (Used under a CC license)
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It is easy to give in to patriarchal expectations from a married woman and lose your self in a marriage, but the path to happiness is in keeping your independence.
Marriage is often described as the joining of two individuals’ bodies, minds, and souls. Upon getting married, you are expected to share everything with your partner, including time, money, and all other aspects of life. Your life should revolve around your spouse from beginning to end.
But is it necessary to spend every waking moment with the spouse? Are you not supposed to have a life apart from your spouse? And do these rules apply only to women or men as well?
Although both men and women may face this situation, women are generally expected to give up everything once they get married. Despite progress in several areas, expecting women to abandon their interests, passions, and friendships to align their lives with those of their spouses is still considered the norm.
The rising numbers of single women choosing this life shout out clear and loud that patriarchy and sexism will no longer break or chain us.
Another book on singlehood? It seems to be the season for books on the joys and freedom of being single. But Demystifying and Dignifying Singlehood: Life Journeys of Single Women Across the Globe by Uma Jain is different. The book does not glorify or glamourise the lives of single women in any way. These are real stories – with the good, the bad and the ugly, all there.
The book tells the stories of 15 single women across the world. A feeling of deep understanding and empathy fills you as you read the book and understand the challenges faced by the women who are single – by choice or chance. Some of the women chose to be single because they faced discrimination and even abuse as girl children. Some others had abusive marriages and sought divorce.
The tag line ‘Crafting pathways on rough terrains’ on the cover page is enough to tell you that this is a serious take on the issue of singlehood. If it focuses more on the rough than the smooth, that has been the reality for the 15 women.
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