Read on how to enrich your life by purpose, i.e. to find depth and, a reason to get out of bed each morning, your own Ikigai.
Son (7 year old): when I grow up I will build a house with ten rooms. One for mummy and me, one for badi didi, another for bhaiyya. A big room for papa. Another big room for grandpa and grandma. A play room and a study room and a room for mausi and chachu when they visit us, finally three rooms for our servant maid and her family.
The servant maid wipes her eyes. “God bless you babu. You are very generous”.
Son (14 years old): when I grow up I’ll work in a factory. I’ll have big quarters. Mummy and papa will stay with me.
” What about bhaiyya and didi and the servant maid? Grandpa and grandma are no more but won’t we need a room for chachu and mausi”?
Bhaiyya and didi will have their own homes. The servants will stay in the outhouse and guests in the guest rooms in the first floor”.
Son (21 years old) to his girl friend: my parents will be staying with us when we get married.
Girl friend: I need my space. They may stay close by and visit us once in a while. But I would not want them to move in with us.
Son: why not? My grandparents always stayed with us and why should my parents live alone?
The girl friend breaks up over the issue (read non issue).
Son(32 years old): I will move out after marriage. After all I need my space, mummy. I have no problem if you move in with me but I would not want to live in your house after marriage.
Mother: Why not? And was this not your house till recently? You grew up here and yet this ceases to be yours after marriage? Why son?”
Son: My life style is different to yours mummy. I would not feel free to entertain friends for fear of disturbing you and papa. My wife would want to host kitty parties and you may not like it. Her parenting methods would be different and ego clashes would sour relationships. We may want to sleep in till 8 in the morning while you will wake up early and potter in the kitchen. The list is long. I would want to run my house the way I wish.
Mother (to herself): Was this not the issue your girl friend raised ten years ago? It becomes an issue even without a wife in the picture. And if you find it uncomfortable living in the very set up that you were brought up in, with the very people who raised you, how would we be able to adjust at your place? I see that you have evolved as a person with sound practical knowledge. But I miss my little boy who would include everyone from his grandparents to the servant maid in his life and future. However, you are right. We all need our space and parting ways amicably is the best solution.
Mother (aloud): Go ahead son. Our blessings are with you.
The Hip Grandma lives in a small industrial town called Jamshedpur and despite all its
Wonderful post, HHG!
Sorry to say this-but if the mother says the last line in all cases, there would be lesser marital discord!
Thanks Sri. True. Mothers need to let go.
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