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Does morality and self-respect proceed from virginity? A ridiculous article on "great things about being a virgin woman"
In an article in the TOI today, there is a piece on, “Great things about being a virgin woman“. Note, not just a virgin, but a virgin woman. I have no objections to virginity – your body, your wish, but I do have serious objections to dimwits. Hence this post.
The great thing about being a dimwit is that you can write perfectly ridiculous articles that other bloggers can poke fun at. For instance, you could say, “According to Oxford dictionary, a virgin is typically a woman, who has never had sexual intercourse.” Huh. I for one am curious to know how the Oxford dictionary came to the conclusion that a virgin is ‘typically’ a woman. How about men who have never had sexual intercourse? Is there a separate classification for them that the dictionary has chosen to allot?
Then, you could say that virgins never need to worry about getting pregnant or about STDs. Of course, if one is married, one can have all the sex one wants and never worry about getting pregnant or getting infected, right? Clearly, it is ‘marriage’ that is the all-powerful protection against pregnancy, and not contraceptives as some of us have all along been thinking.
You could then dimwittedly point out that sans sex, there is no trauma in ending a relationship. Because, you know, if you haven’t slept with a man yet, the emotional bits in your brain rot and you don’t feel anything else whatsoever – so obviously, you can go through them at the rate of one man a day.
Another great argument – your man will be so proud of you (besides being “more sexually excited”). What if a girlfriend were to turnaround and ask this man about his virginity status? Oh c’mon, haven’t you heard that the oxford dictionary defines a virgin as ‘typically a woman’?
And finally, being a dimwit means you can come up with an amazing conclusion like virgins are the sanest people on earth, have morals and respect themselves. Some of us are under the impression that self-respect depended on the state of your mind, and not your vagina, but hey, what do we know?
Founder & Chief Editor of Women's Web, Aparna believes in the power of ideas and conversations to create change. She has been writing since she was ten. In another life, she used to be read more...
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It is easy to give in to patriarchal expectations from a married woman and lose your self in a marriage, but the path to happiness is in keeping your independence.
Marriage is often described as the joining of two individuals’ bodies, minds, and souls. Upon getting married, you are expected to share everything with your partner, including time, money, and all other aspects of life. Your life should revolve around your spouse from beginning to end.
But is it necessary to spend every waking moment with the spouse? Are you not supposed to have a life apart from your spouse? And do these rules apply only to women or men as well?
Although both men and women may face this situation, women are generally expected to give up everything once they get married. Despite progress in several areas, expecting women to abandon their interests, passions, and friendships to align their lives with those of their spouses is still considered the norm.
The rising numbers of single women choosing this life shout out clear and loud that patriarchy and sexism will no longer break or chain us.
Another book on singlehood? It seems to be the season for books on the joys and freedom of being single. But Demystifying and Dignifying Singlehood: Life Journeys of Single Women Across the Globe by Uma Jain is different. The book does not glorify or glamourise the lives of single women in any way. These are real stories – with the good, the bad and the ugly, all there.
The book tells the stories of 15 single women across the world. A feeling of deep understanding and empathy fills you as you read the book and understand the challenges faced by the women who are single – by choice or chance. Some of the women chose to be single because they faced discrimination and even abuse as girl children. Some others had abusive marriages and sought divorce.
The tag line ‘Crafting pathways on rough terrains’ on the cover page is enough to tell you that this is a serious take on the issue of singlehood. If it focuses more on the rough than the smooth, that has been the reality for the 15 women.
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