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Do you have a passion? In order to achieve our full potential as human beings, women cannot stop at merely doing what we "have" to do.
It is true that a woman’s work never ends, that she is perpetually stuck in the drudgery of homemaking, in spite of everything that she achieves at work. She might be a professional superstar, but I bet even Angelina Jolie bothers about the kind of food her children are fed. Does she have to make morning-evening phone calls to her servants from wherever she’s shooting at, to find out what her children are up to?
I wonder if Brad has the same concern. If he does, bully for him. 9.9 out of 10 men don’t bother. The home is not their domain, and it seems ‘wimpish’ to think about it. But all that’s beside the point. We’ve all been through the Mars-Venus debate a thousand times.
My point today is something entirely different. I’m tired of bashing men. They never listen to me. So instead of telling them, I want to show the b____ds. How do I show the world that I matter as a human being? I have spoken to many women caught in the rut of endless homemaking. Their husbands, they say, do not want them to work. Or the in-laws need care. Or the children are too small. Or they just aren’t qualified enough to find a decent job. Fair enough. There are many reasons why a woman has to stay at home.
In my opinion, that doesn’t mean she has to become a drudge or a mindless gadfly, bent on seeking pleasure in trivial pursuits outside of her full-time employment as nanny, cook and butler. In order to achieve our full potential as human beings, we cannot stop at merely doing what we have to do. We need to travel beyond to find something that we want to do, to do so badly that without it we suffer agonies of uncertainty, pain and lack of fulfilment. In a word, all of us need to find a passion.
We need to be irrational about something. I have a friend whose passion is cooking. Her daughters sneered at her for doing something so ‘low-grade’. And then, one day, she launched a cookbook with great fanfare. The daughters aren’t sneering any longer. My friend developed a passion for something that she had been doing as a matter of routine – homemaking. What was a compulsion initially turned into a source of excellence for her. Her beautifully decorated home sparkled, her dining table was always perfectly laid, and whenever one went to her place, one always found food of a higher order, food that actually revived the soul, it was so good. Now other women seek her advice on doing up their homes.
What is life without passion, without that something that you can hug close to yourself and declare, ‘If I have nothing and nobody left, I have this.’ A thriving passion is the greatest counterbalance to loneliness, drudgery and oppression. It can surmount the challenges posed by difficult children, unfaithful husbands, tyrannical in-laws, a boring job. It surprises me that so few women look at this as a solution to the infinite meaninglessness of their lives.
A great passion will make a happier woman, and that of course, will lead to a happier society.
*Photo credit: Jenn and Tony bot (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License)
I'm an alumnus of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore and now a published author. My first novel, Cloud 9 Minus One, was published by HarperCollins India in 2009. read more...
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I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Uorfi Javed has been making waves through social media, and is often the target of trolls. So who and what exactly is this intriguing young woman?
Uorfi Javed (no relation to Javed Akhtar) is a name that crops up in my news feeds every now and again. It is usually because she got trolled for being in some or other ‘daring’ outfit and then posting those images on social media. If I were asked, I would not be able to name a single other reason why she is famous. I am told that she is an actor but I would have no frankly no clue about her body of work (pun wholly unintended).
So is Urfi Javed (or Uorfi Javed as she prefers) famous only for being famous? How does she impact the cause of feminism by permitting herself to be objectified, trolled, reviled?
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