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I have often blogged about dealing with mental illness since I have had to interact with one such person myself in the early years of my marriage. I have witnessed the agony of parents of such people and have felt like forgiving them for any misbehavior on their part since they are usually unable to do much to help their wards lead a near normal life. I do not blame them at all but I do feel that counseling may actually help them to deal with the condition.
R .. was diagnosed schizophrenic and had to resign from his job as coin note examiner in the Reserve Bank of India since he could not cope with the stress that the job offered along with a decent pay slip. His father tried everything in his capacity to give him medical treatment. His funds dwindled, gold and silverware pawned or sold but the boy showed no signs of improvement. He could just not be trusted to live on his own in Chennai where he worked. Giving up a lucrative job was the only option left. He was given medicines as prescribed by the doctor but taking him for regular check ups or regulating the dosage as per his condition was not done. Monetary constraints did not permit his parents to buy the full dose prescribed by the doctor and he d go without medicines for several days in a month for the same reason. As was expected his condition deteriorated and nothing could be done.
However there was one thing that his father could have done. No, I do not mean to criticize him since I may have done the same had I been in his place. R .. was offered a job in a hospital canteen. All he had to do was to wipe the plates and cutlery after they were washed and stack them in the racks meant for them. He would be trained for other odd jobs involving more responsibility later. He could naturally not be given any job that required some accountability from day one. Apart from a nominal salary with a decent annual incentive, he would have been entitled to free medical aid as well as pension and other retirement benefits. A father s heart is naturally prejudiced and R s father was no exception. He turned down the offer saying that his son, an ex-bank employee needed to be given a respectable job. Wiping plated used by patients was certainly not what he had in mind for his son. I often wondered if it was wrong on his father s part to decline the best possible offer that could have been made to him.
K .. is a handsome young man in his early thirties diagnosed with a mental disorder. His parents have no financial constraints and are doing their best to deal with his condition. They ve got his condition checked by eminent psychiatrists. The advice they get from them is pretty much the same. He needs to be treated as an out patient for at least six months, if not more, for his condition to improve. His parents find it impractical to wind up their establishment and relocate to a place like Chennai or Bangalore to pursue a treatment that may or may not fetch the desired result. They have resigned to fate and seek solace in spiritual discourses and religious texts.
It is not a pleasant task to offer advice to parents of mentally afflicted children. Each case is different and what may be appropriate for one may not be suitable for another. But as parents one has to take a decision that is in their ward s favor however difficult or distasteful it may be to them. Neither siblings nor relatives can be expected to be as concerned once the parents pass on. It is for this reason that I feel that they ought to be counseled and convinced that harsh decisions have to be taken keeping the long term interest of their child s welfare in mind.
The Hip Grandma lives in a small industrial town called Jamshedpur and despite all its shortcomings, she would rather not shift anywhere! She began her career at a local women’s college for two reasons: read more...
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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