Should Gynaecologists Judge Women For Their Choices?

I have always admired female friendships. That is a messed up thought, considering the pace at which we move toward a gender-neutral society.

Kerala made headlines once again by introducing gender-neutral uniforms. As a Malayali, I must say I’m proud. But coming back to my hypocrite thoughts, female friendships are different- maybe because I wanted it to be different (so it appears different to me).

“We work at a police force full of dudes- we gotta have each other back. Okay!”

I had goosebumps when Rosa Diaz said this to Amy Santiago ( yes, I love Brooklyn Nine-Nine). That could be the reason why I love seeing women standing up for each other.

Then something happened.

An incident with a friend changed my entire outlook

One of my friends had abnormal bleeding- which we later found out was a side effect of an emergency birth control pill.

I took her to the hospital just like a normal person, not foreseeing the plight and sexual freedom women have. She (my friend) was already in fear, and it was I who forced her to see a gynaecologist.

I was confident because Gyn as a doctor, has a better understanding of the female reproductive system and as a woman would be able to empathise with her.

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It was a reality check for me. I still don’t understand what she (Gyn) was doing when they were given a class on ethics. Anyway, she succeeded in slut-shaming and traumatising my friend with all those ‘virginity saved for husband’ speeches.

Gynaecologists are supposed to create a safe space for women

This incident helped me a lot in understanding the very concept of women supporting women. Everything that felt easier before seems to be very difficult now.

The entire concept of the ‘good girl’ that we’ve been fed since childhood is traumatising. We are taught to look at each other with hatred- inciting internalised misogyny.

The ‘you are not like other girls’ is still a romantic phrase in Bollywood movies. The funny part is we have a lot more to deal with before talking about sexual freedom.

The problem wasn’t the bleeding or the probability of her being pregnant. The problem lies in the hatred, and the solution is quite easy- all you have to do is open your eyes.

Because, at the end of the day, every woman deserves to be looked at without hatred and judgement.

Image credits: Mart Production on Pexels

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