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Every day I inch closer to an arranged marriage set-up, and it hampers my peace of mind and the dignity of my parents.
I never had high hopes for an arranged marriage. I have friends who found the love of their life, and they believed that I would eventually find love. Every day I inch closer to an arranged marriage set-up, and it hampers my peace of mind. Of course, it also hampers the dignity of my parents.
“Once you lose a love battle, you always hate the word love”
Since the lockdown hit us, everyone was home, and I have been working from home. Every day I look at my father writing down contacts, calling unknown numbers, posting my pictures in Matrimonial groups, and whatnot. My mother keeps telling me that she suffered from a cataract as she kept looking at the phone screen, searching for my prospective husband. We joke about it, we laugh about it, but deep inside my soul – I just want everything to stop right now.
I don’t want some greedy people asking my father, “what is your budget for marriage?” (They meant was under-the-table dowry)
I don’t want people to remind me, “I am short height, or I have a wheatish complexion?” (their son wasn’t fair either)
She kept joking about my height!
I would like to narrate an incident here. I suffered from an accident a few months back. In the meanwhile, my parents shortlisted a potential groom through some matrimonial site. I was informed to have a conversation with the guy’s mother on a video call. I wasn’t comfortable having a video call. My father told their family about it. Still, the guy’s mother pushed me to have a video call. I wanted to disconnect the call right there when she kept joking about my height.
When I told my parents about it, they were angry about her behavior. But, no one said anything.
There was another time when the guy’s mother told my parents she would be asking the guy to have a conversation with me. That never happened. Again, one day she insisted to have a video call, and that day I lied about my phone being broken.
When the final day came of meeting the family, I was hesitant as I wasn’t able to walk confidently post-accident. At the hotel, I met the guy and had a conversation of around 1 hour. I was hoping to understand this prospect better, but all we talked about was the weather in Bangalore, traffic in Bangalore, and some hobbies. In the end, the bill came up for dining around 4 hours. No points for guessing who paid the whopping bill (of course my father).
Not sure if I was a client presentation that was awaiting feedback!
Days passed and we were hoping to have an answer. After 4 days, when my father called that guy’s father – there was eventually no show. He returned to my father’s call at 10:30 PM, beating around the bush. He replied that there is no positive feedback.
Well, I am not sure if I was a client presentation that was awaiting feedback. I am not sure how did that guy judge me based on the questions he asked. I am pretty sure, I failed their height calculation (the guy was 6 feet and I am 5’3). Is my father’s money water? Do we have to go around paying bills for people who are judgemental towards working women? Did anyone ask me how I feel being rejected now and then? Did anyone ask me about my career goals? Did anyone care to see the helplessness on my parents’ faces?
I don’t want to get married at the stake of my parents or my dignity. I am not sure when this trauma will be washed out of my brain.
Image Source: Rajeshkoiri from Pixabay
Full-time analyst, part-time dreaming in the world of books read more...
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