When She Quits

Understanding and defining motherhood is often very complex given the many expectations that society continues to have today.

Understanding and defining motherhood is often very complex given the many expectations that society continues to have today.

Womanhood often takes several forms. Be it mother, daughter, sister, aunt, wife, friend, grandmother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law. These can define a woman’s role during the course of her life. And these forms are relatively no different in terms of the relation, to the forms that manhood takes.

What womanhood implies

But mentally and emotionally, each and every form of womanhood have so much deeper connections and feelings that remain complex to explain. This being said, ‘SHE’ forms the crux of the family and if often an important force.

The scenarios that will be discussed further, might feel unrelated to many. But I am sure that most people could still relate with it themselves or their loved ones or even a stranger they may have come across to.

One cannot deny that there are many women who enjoy life as ‘SHE’ deserves to be loved and respected. But the women who suffer by living the opposite, without even realising it or failing to give importance to the fact that they are suffering, outnumber them.

Who is SHE?

There are daughters who are treated like a princess in their family, like in some fairy tales, while there are those who don’t know what a family would feel like. Or the worst, having a family but never know what a loving family is. The discrimination starts once ‘SHE’ takes up the role of a “wife”. The role or form or avatar ‘SHE’ takes often has a huge difference after being a wife.

‘SHE’ starts to play multiple roles. They often do a lot of multi-tasking. ‘SHE’ becomes the shock absorber to things that happen around her. ‘SHE’ becomes the unpaid labour at home – who takes care of cooking, his and her (not in all cases) ailing parents, growing children, household chores etc, etc. On top of all these, ‘SHE’ does professional work too in many cases.

What they sacrifice

This often ends up in, ‘SHE’ giving up her likes and dislikes. It doesn’t matter whether she likes to or have the mood to cook at that moment; she just has to do it because it is considered her duty.

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

Similarly, this holds true for any other household chores too, because it’s simply her duty and not anyone else’s at home. As if this is not enough, a change that ‘SHE’ undergoes after being a wife, ‘SHE’ gives up her self-respect too. Because retorting husband in front of others is considered as a sin.

So much so that ‘SHE’ agrees with it too. Even more, ‘SHE’ appreciates only his good deeds but fails to criticise his mistakes and demand for changes and improvements. She often does not realise that only identifying, discussing and working on both good and bad can make for a strong and healthy relationship.

For example, professional ‘SHE’s mostly doesn’t tolerate a mistake or treating her any less in professional grounds but keep on shock-absorbing/tolerating things in personal front. Because, ‘SHE’ could leave one job that doesn’t suit/satisfy her; whereas ‘SHE’ doesn’t intend to do the same with personal relations. This, needless to say, means ‘SHE’ values people of her personal relation more than anything else.

However, such a gesture becomes meaningful, one and only if the person responsible realises her intuitions, intentions and actions, sadly which is not the case. Even if there are zillion situations and moments that would have tested her patience and tempted her to “quit” the relationship, ‘SHE’ never does so. Nevertheless, an undeniable truth is that ‘SHE’ quits mentally and emotionally.

When they suffer

There are so many ‘SHE’s who undergo a lot of mental abuse in their relationships because of their intolerant and misogynistic behaviour. There are many ‘SHE’s who mentally quit their relationships countless times because their husbands verbally (sometimes even physically) abuse them.

There are even more ‘SHE’s who mentally quit their relationships and physically this world because their husbands failed them and their children in every single way imaginable.

But all these stories remain untouched, undiscussed, living only in the minds and hearts of those ‘SHE’s. Talking about it often makes them ‘less’ of a woman in a society that continues to suppress them.

Finally, when this force quits for real, the family will just be thrown away in different directions. The ‘SHEs’ mentioned above had to experience emotional turmoil because they don’t realise what they deserve. These are intertwined with the so-called societal norms that put one gender down while keeping an invisible crown on another gender’s head.

What they should aspire to be

All in all, ‘SHE’ has to demand her rights at least in this generation. She has to aspire to build a fruitful and cherishable living for herself and most importantly, for the ‘SHE’s who will come after her. It is much needed to agree that there are many brave ‘SHE’s who do this already, even if her loved ones try to stop her from doing so, by referring to her calm fellow ‘SHE’s.

Much love and strength to all ‘SHE’s who stand up bravely not just for herself, but also for her fellow ‘SHE’s who either chose to be silent or chose to believe that is how a woman is meant to behave in this (biased) society.

Because, in general, each and every ‘SHE’ in this planet is beautiful from in and out and every one of them deserves to be happy, loved, respected and (most of all), treated as an equal human being.

And this would become a norm, if and only if ‘SHE’ realises that ‘SHE’ deserves it all!

Image Source: Pexels 


About the Author

1 Posts | 1,023 Views

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

All Categories