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Why are men and women treated differently in a marriage? Is a happy marriage actually happy?
It was 6 PM. I was travelling in a Delhi-Gurgaon metro with my husband.
After a lot of waits, I finally got a seat. As I sat down on seat I saw a couple sitting at front seat with their two kids.
They look like a happy couple. The woman was wearing quite modern clothes.
The kid’s age would be approx. 6 and 3 years. Boys were playing with poles in the metro. They were laughing. They were running. Boys were very happy. Maybe they found metro poles a good place to play with.
Their mom was protecting them. She was handling them well. Father was also very concerned about his kids like every parent does.
I was also smiling at them. Watching kids running, playing. Meanwhile, in this observation, Man stood up from his seat. I got the idea that they are reached to their destination and they are about to deboard the metro.
The man stood up near the metro gate and woman was handling both the kids. Meanwhile, in this handling, his younger son’s forehead got hit by a metro pole. He started crying loudly.
The man saw this he was so furious over his wife that he almost raised his hand to his wife. He was almost to slap her in the metro. But anyhow he stopped his hand in midway. He started abusing his wife “Can’t you handle two kids? It was just 2 minutes that I gave you this responsibility and see what you have done. He was abusing his wife in front of everyone”.
And the lady, she was peeping to me embarrassingly if I am still observing them or not. She was having a look if anyone in the metro is not observing them. She was just explaining to her husband that she intentionally didn’t do anything. It was just an accident that happened. I was holding the older kid and younger one just run away and he got hurt.
She was about to cry. She was helpless. She was embarrassed. She was losing her self-respect.
I was furious over the man’s activity. But I kept quiet and saw everything that happened there. That incident made me think over the identity and existence of a woman.
What women are made of? Don’t they feel embarrassed..?? Don’t they feel disrespected..?? What is their identity..??
Why they are married… Just to be insulted in front of everyone..?? Are they objects..??
Why that woman kept quiet while his husband was insulting him..?
How dare that man to raise his hand to his wife..?? From where he accumulated such kind of dare to abuse his wife in public…??
What would be his mentality towards his wife..?
What if they would have been in their home and such incident happened… He might have hit his wife badly.
Why he didn’t understand that they are also her kids. She is the mother of those kids. She knows best how to take care of them. She is the one who loves them most. She is the prime caretaker of her kids. This was just an accident. It could have done with anyone.
Why that man got so furious over his wife. How insulted she would have felt in public. She must be crying inside. She was suffering.
I just recalled whatever I saw a few moments back. I was thinking about how happy their family is. How beautiful their kids are.
That incident was a reality check for me; my all thoughts of seeing them as a beautiful family vanished.
It happens to woman, they are treated as objects. They get hurt. They feel bad, they cry, they suffer, they tolerate and eventually it becomes their habit and they think they are meant for this only. They start thinking that everything happening to them is nothing different it’s completely ordinary.
No… It’s not. You do not object. You also have heart, you also have senses, you also have a brain, you also have feeling and emotions.
You are also a creature by God like Men. You also deserve respect and happiness. You are not for being ill-treated always.
I just got married one year back. We Hindu’s have “Saat fere- Seven-rounds” during a wedding. Those seven rounds mean one promise with one round which husband and wife give to each other.
One important promise given by a husband to wife is: ” I will never insult you, neither in private nor in public”. That promise a husband made in front of purity of fire.
What happens to that promise? Marriage is all about those 7 promises we make to each other.
But that man already broke that promise. Now, what should I say..?? Is that man married to his wife? Is he committed to his wife? I think No..!!
I just sat down and think over it again and again… Approx. 20 days has been passed, I saw this incident. But that man-made such a scar on his image that I can’t forget whatever I saw.
I still ask myself, Why men and women are being treated differently in a marriage?
Picture Credits – Still From Movie Thappad
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