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“Tu beti nahi, beta hai (you are not a daughter, but a son)”. Nothing gets my goat more than this statement. Now I get to hear it evermore after my dad’s passing.
They say I am a son. Nothing irks me more.I am no different than what I was when young.I was a daughter then, I am a daughter now
I was a daughter when my father was mocked as the only brother to have one.I was a daughter when they questioned about investing in my education.I was a daughter when I launched my company and made it grow.I was a daughter when the same naysayers took pride in my achievements.I was a daughter then, I am a daughter now.
I was a daughter when the doctors insisted on talking to a man.You would not be able to take the news, they said.I was a daughter when I researched the procedures.I was a daughter when I cleaned my father’s stitches.I was a daughter when the sight of blood did not make me queasy.I was a daughter then, I am a daughter now.
I was a daughter when I was stopped from touching my father’s ashes.Daughters aren’t allowed to do that, he said.I was a daughter when I made the arrangements.I was a daughter when I handled the paperwork.I was a daughter then, I am a daughter now.
I was always a daughter, the apple of my parents’ eyes.I am a daughter, my brother’s partner in crime.I was never weak, but a girl is all everyone saw.Please do not undermine me by calling me a son.I am a daughter, and shall always be a daughter.
First published here.
Image via Pexels
I am an entrepreneur, a design professional, an avid reader, and a complete foodie. Books and cooking are my relaxation mantra. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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