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Sometimes we get carried away by the mere presence of a relationship. Check to understand whether you are experiencing 'romance' or 'relationship'.
Most of us generally use these two magic words ‘romantic relationships’ when in reality ‘romance’ and ‘relationship’ often two different phenomena. Imagine, like an expert Sushi chef if you take the tiniest slice out of a huge chunk of ‘romantic relationships’ then you would get that exact quantity of ‘romance’. Now the question is what’s the difference between ‘meaningful romance’ and ‘meaningful relationship’? Well, you can share that tiny pieces of romance with many (however eventually the entire chunk would be finished in that process, at least logic says so). On the contrary, if you plan to maintain a ‘meaningful relationship’ then you should share that entire chunk with one person only. I know that the entire introduction process was quite confusing but read on to clear the confusion.
Before I start this blog I would like to mention that it’s my personal opinion on the basis of my observation and its not a thesis. Any person can go through all these experiences irrespective of their age, race, sex, gender, sexuality, ethnicity etc. I am writing this blog on the basis of my personal experience that I have accumulated from real living – breathing human being in the course of my social studies (once again, that’s not a thesis). I would not claim I have seen all these people with my own eyes, but I have heard their voices with my own ears.
Also, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if they feel “a person can have multiple meaningful romantic relationships with multiple partners”, then so be it. I am by no means a ‘Romance Phobic’ (at least I guess so).
I am addressing that segment of people here who are confused. In their dilemma, then often this ‘Is this a real relationship or not?’
So, here is a checklist for you to understand and gauge where you stand:
1. Both of you are not on the same page of life
I am not talking about ‘pace’, here, I am talking about ‘page’. Professionally you both can be at two opposite poles; one can be more successful than the other; but what about personal life? To be more precise, say one partner is running from pillar to post all alone to arrange for money and other necessary resources in order to fix a personal crisis (e.g Health); while the other partner is enjoying her/his life with other family members of friends. There is the mandatory exchange of text messages frequently probably out of guilt or formality sake, but is this really a ‘meaningful relationship?’ It isn’t because ‘meaningful relationship’ means being with the partner ‘in sickness and in health’.
2. You are only remembered seasonally
Yes, it’s another vital red flag. Never ignore the scenario when your partner only remembers you seasonally. Are you important only on your birthday, Valentine’s Day or your anniversary? If yes, then your partner is too busy for you. If not, and if you often cuddle, love, hug and like spending time with each other, then you are definitely experiencing ‘meaningful romance’, since ‘meaningful relationship’ is not a celebration of seasonal festivities.
3. You are not the first priority
I remember a time when a man went to see blooming orchids in Sikkim while his wife was birthing their child. His priorities were clear. This example may seem harsh but if you look at it practically, you will understand that as humans we have to make choices at all times since we can be physically present only in one place. Therefore, you should observe – Whether do you get the first priority in your partner’s life? Do you spend time or does one of you have to make time from the schedule? Are your wishes in the first few priorities of your partner? Are there no excuses? If not, then this is not a ‘meaningful relationship’ but a relationship of convenience.
4. You are not fulfilling the basic conditions
Yes! When your love is not unconditional then its romance. A most common condition that I have heard here that condition is – “I love travelling and I am looking for someone who would travel with me.” It may sound weird but it’s true. However, my question is – “Would you choose your partner on the basis of ‘common hobbies’ or on the basis of ‘common values’?” Therefore, choose wisely. Common interests do matter, but common values are non-negotiable.
5. You are feeling lonely
Loneliness is like an untreated wound on the soul. You can only get rid of it either being successful in your passion or in the comforting arms of your partner. Now if you are in a relationship (at least you think so) and still feeling lonely that means you are in a ‘meaningful romance’; because ‘meaningful relationships’ fulfil that wound with their presence.
6. You prefer to avoid your partner
You are lonely, but despite that loneliness, you prefer to avoid your partner. You don’t enjoy each other’s company any more. At that position, you can assure yourself that you are in a ‘meaningful romance’ and not in a ‘meaningful relationship’.
7. You have stopped fighting for the relationship
We don’t fight to break our relationship, in fact often we fight to save it. We shout because we want to be heard, we crave for attention. However, when you stop fighting and slowly start praying for a ‘natural end’ of that relationship then finally ‘Congratulations!’ you were in a ‘meaningful romance’ and not in a ‘meaningful relationship’ and finally you have reached that point where you are desperately seeking an ‘amicable evaporation’ of that entire facade.
Perhaps you are taking one of the most sensible decisions of your life and trust me that decision would leave a very positive impact in your life. I would love to hear your opinion also. Stay blessed and stay happy!
Image via Pixabay
Independent Researcher, Philanthropist, Blogger and dreamer of a world where women would receive their dues in most dignified manner..... read more...
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