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Assertiveness is not a desirable quality or skill that a woman can display on a matrimonial site, right?
Have you ever been forced to not attend an event as a participant on the Constitution because you could potentially be the only woman there? Have you been advised not to sit for a particular movie at a film festival because you would feel uncomfortable watching it with a predominantly male audience? If the answers are ‘yes’ for all of the above or if you have had similar ladki-hai-toh-udhar-jana-is-not-in-your-best-interest moments, then we are sailing in the same boat. The irony here is that these were “progressive” events organised by the so-called “progressive” people. What does this say about the extent of feminism inculcated by the “liberal” sections of our small-town societies? Can I be cynical and say “nil”?
People breathe, talk, and eat feminism these days. But what is the point of it, if you cannot digest the presence of an adult woman in a cinema hall? What is the point of listening to a talk on equality and fraternity in the Constitution if men dominate the audience? The root of all these double-standards is the fear of own “well-being”, they say. I should not be seen attending an event as the only girl as that would indicate that I have an “assertive” side. Assertiveness is not a desirable quality or skill that a woman can display on a matrimonial site, right?
So yes, this denial of entry has to do with my marriage prospects. Also, the nice uncles of the film society think I should not sit in for a foreign film because that would spread the word of my association with the most explicit movies. That would mean I take a lenient attitude to movies that should ideally be denounced by innocent, small-town girls like me. Open attitudes by women are, therefore, social aberrations. I am an aberration.
One incident, however, has a happy ending. I did attend the talk on the Constitution and represented one per cent woman presence at the do. I do know that this nano act of defiance cannot in any sense be called radical. But I think these small, everyday acts count. As they say, little drops of water make the mighty ocean.
Image via Pixabay
I am an aspiring writer/feminist--not strictly in that order. read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Dear Women’s Web Community Member,
You may have wondered at our being on the quieter side during the last couple of months. Thank you for your patience, and we wanted to come back to you with a detailed note on what’s been happening at our end of things.
When we first began Women’s Web, as a blog from one woman’s desk along with a few like-minded souls, little could we have imagined the heights that it would soar to. Over the years, Women’s Web has published over 20000 stories (almost all by women), empowered countless women with the ideas, community and resources to chase their dreams, employed hundreds of women in core and project-based roles, and in the process, emerged as the OG women’s community in India. It has also inspired many others to build communities of a similar nature, all enabling women (and other-underrepresented groups) in their own ways.
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