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To The Mothers Who Have Chosen To Work Outside The Home

Posted: July 29, 2015

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Mothers who have chosen to work outside the home play out a delicate balancing act every day. Let us appreciate that than adding to their worries.

This note is dedicated to all the lovely mothers who churn 9 to 5 at work, leaving their little ones with nannies, maids, day-cares, and extended school clubs. This is a note written based on my experience.

Yes, we are the mothers who spend 60% of our non-sleep hours at work, 10% in travel and the remaining 30% on kids-hubby-family-and-much-more.

We are those Time-Boxed Beings, whose scheduling is dot to dot from dawn to dusk and no software or algorithm in the world could match our complexity and aptness.

We supersede the ‘Principles of Management’ Techniques , as we excel in the art of People Management – we need to manage various shades of people on an hour by hour basis, from our kids, hubby, family, in-laws, maids, nannies, day-care staff, colleagues, managers, team members, travel partners, friends to…yes, ourselves too!

We are that Routine Person, who has to wake up at the same time for all the five days of the week followed by the time slotted for the golden tasks for the day such as kids waking up time, dressing up time, breakfast time, commute to the day-care/school time, commute to work time, working time, lunch time, return commute time, feeding the kids time, putting the kids to sleep time, dinner time, sleep time. Apart from these is the time to be allocated for silver tasks and bronze tasks (non-routine ones).

Waking up 10 minutes later than our usual wake up time would send a chill through our spines, but we handle it.

We are also that Magical Routine Person who can miss the time slots allocated for each of our golden tasks for the day, but still end up completing all the tasks somehow.

We are also that Magical Routine Person who can miss the time slots allocated for each of our golden tasks for the day, but still end up completing all the tasks somehow. If you ask us how, here it is.

On a routine day, our kids are fed, bathed, taken to school and put to sleep, laundry is done, dishes are done and the home is clean; on a magical routine day our kids are fed, bathed, taken to school and about all the other activities…we are not sure.

Our only and highest priority is our kids as opposed to how the world terms us or accuses us of being Workaholic, Money Minded, Compromisers and so on.

We have an ironical Time Culture, as we leave early from home, but reach the work-place late as we have to factor our kids dropping off at school/day-care time. Yet, we need to we leave early from work and reach home late, as we have our kids picking up time.

Our travel-time to work is our book-time/social networking time/phone time.

Though we spend most of the hours away from our kids, every second breath is a prayer for our kids, every second thought is about our kids, and our whispers are always about their wellness….for people who don’t understand that, we don’t bother to explain.

We are diplomatic, cunning, smart, shrewd, clever, proactive, planners, schedulers and above all, Multitaskers, as our stakes are always high with fragile situations, emergencies, and mess ups and so on…we need to be on high alert, all the time.

We get our political skillset sharpened in this process, as the number of alliances we make or break with our parents, in-laws, maids, nannies, day-carers etc. to keep our kid-family-work life style surviving is countless.

We tend to bring in our kids into the picture unconsciously in most of our conversations.

In the midst of this busiest schedule, we tend to find our ‘Me Time’ to stop by and pamper ourselves…whether we succeed in that or not, is a whole different ball game.

In the midst of this busiest schedule, we tend to find our ‘Me Time’ to stop by and pamper ourselves…whether we succeed in that or not, is a whole different ball game.

No matter how hard we try to balance work and kids, having taken the decision to stay away from our little ones for the best part of the day, does put some guilt in our hearts and we carry that consciousness throughout.

We would never dare to use the sick leaves for ourselves.

Many of us work not just for money; we also have so many other factors driving us to work every day.

At the end of the day, a simple hug or a happy smiling face from our kids boosts our energy to its upper limits.

Of course we whine, cry and get depressed when we are judged and accused for choosing to work.

We know, acknowledge and respect that Stay at Home Mothers are making the right choice for themselves too, in their situation.

It’s a choice we have made. We deal with it, day and night.

We always try to do our best, some days are best and some days are not.

We know our pros and cons.

We know what we are losing and what we are gaining.

We do not require any sympathy or empathy, just the awareness, that from the most ancient of days, from a trivial species to the most advanced Homo Sapiens, motherhood carries a unique potential.

It is never generic.

It is never a horizontal.

It is a vertical. It is one to one.

There is no single pragmatic solution.

Every mother deals with her situations and her kids in her own style.

In the journey of motherhood, she will only choose to listen to her heart, soul and mind and not the noises around her.

Some mothers react, some mothers ignore, some mothers react and ignore depending on their situation and the people around them.

The world can term her as Stay at Home Mom, Working Mom, Conventional Mom, Contemporary Mom, Unconventional Mom and so on…..

Irrespective of the demarcations they are sliced into, they only consider themselves as ‘Mother.’

Finally, they know their kids, what the best for them is and what would be their best choices.


Mother and son image via Shutterstock


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