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A parent has so many things to share with a child, it's hard to keep count. Here is a letter to a son, with some of the most important lessons to remember in life.
A parent has so many things to share with a child, it’s hard to keep count. Here is a letter to a son, with some of the most important lessons to remember in life.
There are just so many things I want to tell you, and teach you. Some may come as life lessons, some lessons you may never need to learn. But there are a few that you must absolutely remember. Those – the ones I think are important – I am putting down in this letter. I may write a few more in more letters but these are things I think you must live by, and I hope to teach you by example.
The most important thing I want to tell you is that I Love You, and I will love you just as much, irrespective of how angry I am, or how disappointed I am. Just remember that the most important thing among us is love. Let anger and disappointment not keep you away from me, because whatever it is I will still love you. You always have place in my heart and that spot will remain.
Nothing you do can ever erase that place. I love you unconditionally and that is how it will remain. Also I hope this declaration makes you feel free enough to come and confess your mistakes to me. I may punish you but I still love you, remember that when I give you your time outs.
Remember – never have you been or ever will be the reason for my problems, my decisions, or my errors in judgements. They are all mine. You can never be the cause, or the justification for them. If my path is difficult, it is because I chose to walk it, not because you are walking alongside me. You are what makes my journey worthwhile. You are what makes the difficulties seem easy. You are the one who makes making tough choices easy. You are my strength and my inspiration forever.
Every parent dreams that their children be something, and amount to something. I have no such dreams. I want you to see your own dreams, have your own ambitions. Live the life that you want, the way that you want, and remember that I am always by your side, to encourage you and support you, and sometimes, even criticise you.
But criticism never means I don’t like your path. Okay, I may not like it, but I sure will try my hardest to respect your choices. Also remember that your dreams are worth fighting for, let no one tell you that they are worthless or can’t be achieved. You will never know what you can do unless you do it.
The fact that you are a boy does not give you the right to trample over anyone, and if anyone tells you otherwise, you know they are wrong. Everyone, be it rich or poor, man or woman, educated or non-educated, manager or labourer, deserves your respect. That is the least you can do for the person – treat them with respect.
No one is privileged; you are not, so don’t act like you are. You are a normal person, like any other. You will have to struggle and fight your own battles just like anyone else, and I will be your strength and inspiration when you need me to, but remember your success can never be at the cost of another.
Be capable of loving, and proud of having found true love. It doesn’t matter to me what religion the person (yes person, I would love him/her just the same) belongs to, their caste, where they work etc. What matters is whoever the person is loves you unconditionally, from the bottom of their hearts, or at least as much as I do.
And when you find that person, treasure the person and your relationship. It is very easy to take things for granted, or to forget the other person in your relationship. Never let that happen, never put anyone else above that person, and always take the time to let them know what they mean to you.
Always remember – never take abuse of any kind, always stand up against abuse. Whoever and whatever may be the reason for the abuse, and be it physical, mental, emotional abuse, always fight back. Also never be a part of abuse, if you have the power, learn to use it the way it is meant to be, for good. Never use it to put another down, or to make gains in an improper manner.
Remember your life does not depend on anyone else’s, even mine. Live your life and do whatever you feel like. You get only one life, never lose it to please others or live for others. Live fully to the end, and try to have as little regrets as possible.
Pic credit: Carowallis1 (Used under a CC license)
Jaibala Rao is a Writer and a Poet whose life revolves around the people she loves, her family, her friends and her toddler. She says that words define her, and writing and reading compete to read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
At one point, she confesses to her mother that the beatings are no longer physical, they have started affecting her mentally as well, and she wants to break free of this cycle of abuse.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence and may be triggering for survivors.
I recently watched Darlings on Netflix. It’s a quirky, dark satire featuring the dynamite duo of Alia Bhatt and Shefali Shah. The movie depicts domestic violence and the psychology of abuse.
Even though the subject matter is dark, there are light moments and humour, which make it immensely watchable. It stands out for its powerhouse performances and unique storyline.