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Why are some women scared of marriage? Because they've been taught that marriage is about changing the person you are.
I wasn’t scared of marriage. I did not think about it could be one reason. And I did not know what all was part of the package could be another reason. But on examining it closer and having read a bit in the past few years, I realised I wasn’t scared of marriage because I was not prepared, as a sacrificial goat often is, prepared for marriage.
I think it largely begins and belongs with my mother as it begins, belongs and stays with other mothers. I think I wasn’t scared of marriage and what all it will do to curb me as a person because I wasn’t trained to be someone else after marriage.
I was, since the childhood, put on a certain mental fodder that I took for granted would not change after the marriage. I am an avid reader and I was never fed the thought that I will be barred from reading when I got married. So why would marriage scare me?
Brought up in such an atmosphere where I was taught by example how responsibilities of the household are meant to be shared and they are not burdens under which one person would stifle and other gained girth, so why would marriage scare me?
I was never asked to do/ learn things, even on the insistence of neighbourhood aunties, because a married girl should know them or else……so why would marriage scare me?
I was implored often to get off my butt and get moving but that was not for the sole purpose of being eye candy for the husband-to-be so why would marriage scare me?
You see I was never asked to be interesting to ensure the husband’s interest in me so why would marriage scare me?
There were other things though like being taught the importance of being financially independent, well-read, thoughtful, sincere, respectful and those I imbibed to a great extent and so even after being married for seven years and seeing some of the realities differ, I am not scared of marriage.
Pic credit: Debarshi Ray (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Aanandika Sood aspires to be the rolling stone that gathers a lot of moss. After 8 years of writing copies and columns, editing and scripting stories and honing her PR skills, she is now playing read more...
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Dear Women’s Web Community Member,
You may have wondered at our being on the quieter side during the last couple of months. Thank you for your patience, and we wanted to come back to you with a detailed note on what’s been happening at our end of things.
When we first began Women’s Web, as a blog from one woman’s desk along with a few like-minded souls, little could we have imagined the heights that it would soar to. Over the years, Women’s Web has published over 20000 stories (almost all by women), empowered countless women with the ideas, community and resources to chase their dreams, employed hundreds of women in core and project-based roles, and in the process, emerged as the OG women’s community in India. It has also inspired many others to build communities of a similar nature, all enabling women (and other-underrepresented groups) in their own ways.
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