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Why are some women scared of marriage? Because they've been taught that marriage is about changing the person you are.
I wasn’t scared of marriage. I did not think about it could be one reason. And I did not know what all was part of the package could be another reason. But on examining it closer and having read a bit in the past few years, I realised I wasn’t scared of marriage because I was not prepared, as a sacrificial goat often is, prepared for marriage.
I think it largely begins and belongs with my mother as it begins, belongs and stays with other mothers. I think I wasn’t scared of marriage and what all it will do to curb me as a person because I wasn’t trained to be someone else after marriage.
I was, since the childhood, put on a certain mental fodder that I took for granted would not change after the marriage. I am an avid reader and I was never fed the thought that I will be barred from reading when I got married. So why would marriage scare me?
Brought up in such an atmosphere where I was taught by example how responsibilities of the household are meant to be shared and they are not burdens under which one person would stifle and other gained girth, so why would marriage scare me?
I was never asked to do/ learn things, even on the insistence of neighbourhood aunties, because a married girl should know them or else……so why would marriage scare me?
I was implored often to get off my butt and get moving but that was not for the sole purpose of being eye candy for the husband-to-be so why would marriage scare me?
You see I was never asked to be interesting to ensure the husband’s interest in me so why would marriage scare me?
There were other things though like being taught the importance of being financially independent, well-read, thoughtful, sincere, respectful and those I imbibed to a great extent and so even after being married for seven years and seeing some of the realities differ, I am not scared of marriage.
Pic credit: Debarshi Ray (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Aanandika Sood aspires to be the rolling stone that gathers a lot of moss. After 8 years of writing copies and columns, editing and scripting stories and honing her PR skills, she is now playing read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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