Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Do you, as a parent, succumb to the call of pressure cooker parenting? The rat race that we all seem to be running and making our kids run?
I woke up to a sustained noise. A noise coming from outside. A noise which pushed me out of my bed to look outside. I saw people running. A mixed crowd of men, women and children full of energy and momentum was running on the road. They looked educated, some even well read but hypnotized as if spellbound by some unknown Pied piper tune. Eyes wide open but they looked blindfolded and their minds clouded. Without a pause, without a thought, they just ran!
I wasn’t sure what was happening but was desperate to know. I rushed and tried to pace up. As I joined, I could spot few neighbours, acquaintances and friends. Many faces looked familiar!
“Hey what’s all this about?” — I tried probing a woman finding it hard to keep up with the pace.
As she tried catching her breath, she said “Are you a parent or a prospective parent or an expecting parent?” Her voice broke.
I nodded “Yes, I am a mother to two children.”
“So run along, don’t stop — because if you stop you will miss the race! If you want to do any good to your children, just keep running, where are your kids — pull them too!”
“But where to and how long?” I was curious to know.
“Don’t ask questions! That isn’t allowed if you want your children to excel and be successful in life — join the race. Look around” And pulling up her breath, she dashed ahead!
I was confused. I thought about my sleeping beauties lost in their reveries, how can I pull them up in this race? Impossible!
But did I have any option?
I looked around. I realized there were many shops — shops selling school education, hobbies, sports, extra curricular and some even sold culture and values for children. Everything was available and up for sale — the shop-wallas worked very hard indeed as they sold their respective commodities. Commodities packaged and incentivized. Offers and cash backs – everything put to use and tried!
The participants stopped momentarily — and spoke to those who sold. Deliberations and decisions led to closures. Closures got the parents placards which they held or stuck as a badge. Maximize was the rule accompanied with boasting and flaunting. And in this process of buying and selling, a pressure was built up. Though in a subtle manner, yet constantly growing bit by bit all the way!
As a logical consequence — most of the pressure was being passed on to the kids who were forced into the race. Big to small to the smallest! Kids of all ages. Bookings and registrations done even for those who weren’t born yet! Some of the children cried as they begged and requested to be spared but in that clouded state of mind— no one was spared. The kids were pulled, pushed, berated and also hit. The pressure flowed as an undercurrent. The message was clear — Take the pressure, bend, bow whenever needed, and not just persist but excel. It all seemed like a pressure cooker at the verge of blowing!
I felt exhausted and tired. I kept trying to push my kids but my efforts seemed futile. The immense pressure suffocated me as I was unable to keep up with the pace. I wanted to break free. I started shouting — “Help! Help!”.
And my dream broke!
Yes, yesterday night I had a dream. A dream not too distant from reality. A dream about the pressure cooker parenting! A dream about encouraging an underlying pressure of living in a constant competition and fear.
And as I mindlessly tried to succumb to it — pulling my children in a state of pressure, competitiveness, or may be my own unfulfilled aspirations — I responded to an unknown Pied Piper tune not knowing where I was taking my children to — being successful may be but what about being happy?
When, lo! as they reached the mountain-side, A wondrous portal opened wide, As if a cavern was suddenly hollowed; And the Piper advanced and the children followed And when all were in to the very last, The door in the mountain-side shut fast.
— Robert Browning, Pied Piper of Hamelin
Published here earlier.
Image source: Flickr, for representational purposes only.
Present - India Lead - Education, Charter for Compassion, Co-Author - Escape Velocity, Writer & Social Activist. Past - DU, Harvard, Telecoms-India and abroad read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
Please enter your email address